


It's Gonna Be Forever, or it's Gonna Go Down in Flames

by silvermoonwulf



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Oikawa Tooru, Do not read if you do not want Haikyuu spoilers, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Future Event, Haikyuu - Freeform, Happy Ending, I am going to sleep bye, I don't know anything about volleyball even though I've seen Haikyuu 4 times and read the manga once, M/M, Neighbors, Oikawa is an adult, READ ALL TAGS BEFORE READING, Smut, So I am going to write anyway, The facts about volleyball are not accurate, They are pro volleyball players, Top Ushijima Wakatoshi, Ushijima is an adult, Work In Progress, but i love the trope, haikyuu manga, haikyuu spoilers, not sure where I am going with the story, slowburn, ushioi - Freeform, will add more characters as the story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:08:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 37,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29192031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvermoonwulf/pseuds/silvermoonwulf
Summary: Oikawa and Ushijima have hated each other for as long as they can remember. But it's one night when Oikawa is drunk and locked out of his apartment, when everything changes.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 52
Kudos: 147





	1. Fuck, what did I do?

**Author's Note:**

> Yo read the tags before proceeding bro. It has some spoilers.

It was 2 in the morning and the hallway to Oikawa’s apartment was pretty empty. Except that a very drunk and fazed Oikawa sat outside his door, waiting for it to miraculously open. He knew he clearly remembered the pass code to his house, he just didn’t remember the order in which the digits were supposed to be fed into the lock.

Sleep was beginning to take over him. It was the month of December and he would freeze if he stayed out any longer but Oikawa was far too drunk to even care about that. He knew he would get sick, but it was the holidays. You were supposed to get sick in the holidays, weren’t you?

Barely managing to keep his tiredness and sleep at bay, Oikawa tried once more. He latched his hand to the handle on the door and pulled himself up, only to slump back down again.

He laughed at his own silliness.

Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to stand back up again, he turned towards the door and tried once more.

The lock beeped loudly, telling him that his pass code was wrong, yet again.

“Ah fuck it!” he announced he stacked hi back against the door again. “I’ll just sleep out here.”

Closing his eyes, he was about to go to sleep when he heard someone approaching him.

His eyes fluttered open lazily, and then widened. “Ah Takawoshi Umishija” he said and shook his head rigorously, only to feel dizzy immediately. “I mean Wakatoshi Ushijima, welcome to my house”

A towering Ushijima looked at him with a straight face. “We are in the hallway” he said in a matter-of-fact-tone.

Oikawa laughed. “That’s coz we can’t get into my house, silly.”

This was strange, Ushijima thought. Oikawa was never this friendly or inviting towards him. “What are you doing out here?”

Oikawa struggled to keep his head up. “Why the fuck are you so tall?”

“We are almost the same height.”

“How do you know my height?” Oikawa asked and then scoffed. “Stalker.”

There, there it was. _This_ was how Oikawa talked to him usually. Calling Ushijima a ‘stalker’ began almost two years ago when Oikawa found out that Ushijima had bought the apartment two doors down from him in his residential building. He hadn’t even bothered finding out that it was Ushijima’s agent who had bought it. Instead, Oikawa had named him ‘WalkingStalking Ushijima’.

“Goodbye.” Ushijima said flatly. He didn’t have the time or energy to stand here and be insulted again.

“No, wait…” Oikawa suddenly said, pleadingly.

Ushijima waited for him to speak but instead, he found Oikawa falling asleep.

“Well?” he asked loudly and Oikawa woke up.

Looking at Ushijima and where he was, it took Oikawa a few seconds to gather information of what was going on. And then he remembered. “Do you know the pass code to my house?”

“I am not your stalker.” Ushijima asserted, very, very strongly.

Oikawa laughed, “Yeah, okay, if you say so. Do you or do you not know?”

Ushijima shut his eyes in frustration. What even was this ridiculous situation?

“I know the numbers, I just don’t think I remember the order.” Oikawa confessed.

“That’s not my problem”

Oikawa sighed at Ushijima’s response. The back and forth biker was making him a little sober now. His mind was still blank though. “Just… help me, okay?”

For a few seconds, Ushijima didn’t react. Oikawa… was asking him for help? Finally! Finally he could get revenge on the seven years of torture Oikawa had inflicted on him every time he saw Ushijima around after high school.

Many years ago, when they were still in high school, Ushijima had made a mistake of telling Oikawa that with his talent, he should have gone to Ushijima’s school instead. The smug bastard had never let Ushijima forget it after that. Now it was Ushijima’s turn.

Ushijima finally had something he could use against Oikawa now.

“What is the pass code?” Ushijima asked.

“I told you I don’t know.”

Frustration building, Ushijima pinched the bridge of his nose. Telling himself to be patient, he tried again. “What are the numbers?”

“Hmm?” Oikawa asked, forgetting for a second what they were talking about. “Oh, its 9-0-2-4-7-0”

Ushijima shook his head and pressed his hand to the electronic lock. In less than ten seconds, the door beeped and Ushijima held it open.

Oikawa gasped. “Dumbledore.” He said in amusement.

“Good night” Ushijima said but Oikawa stopped him yet again.

“Help me in” he said.

Jackpot. Ushijima thought. He couldn’t wait for a sober Oikawa to show up with his snarky ‘Are you here to take me to Shiratorizawa?’ comment to which Ushijima could reply ‘Can you get into your house fine or you would like to beg me for help, _again?’_

He wondered how Oikawa would explain _that_ to his friends. Ushijima almost laughed at the way Oikawa would react. Brilliant, Ushijima thought. Petty, but fucking brilliant.

“Okay, get up.” With that, Ushijima pulled Oikawa’s arm around his shoulders and yanked him up.

When he went into Oikawa’s apartment, he was pleasantly surprised. Judging from Oikawa’s personality, he had not expected a clean apartment. He had expected chaos and clothes lying everywhere, half eaten pizzas rotting on the floor, beer bottles thrown recklessly a little too far from the bin, empty wrappers of chips here and there and a couch coated with perhaps Cheetos crumbs. But he was wrong. The apartment was spotless. Much like his own.

“Where is your room?” Ushijima asked, staring at the three doors, one on his right and two on his left.

“Can you draw me a bath? I can’t sleep unless I’ve taken a shower”

Ushijima looked at the watch on his wrist. He still had a few minutes before he was supposed to go to sleep himself. And he presumed the more he helped Oikawa, the more dirt he would have to throw on him. So why not.

Asking him to sit on the couch, Ushijima searched through all the tree doors before finding the washroom himself. Turning the faucet on, he let the tub fill with hot water.

“It’s done.” Ushijima yelled and dropped his hand into the tub to check the temperature and to make sure it was neither too hot, not too cold. When he was satisfied, he was just about to get up and leave when Oikawa walked it.

Absolutely naked.

Without giving it any thought at all, Oikawa went into the tub, not even noticing the way Ushijima’s breathing was on a complete halt for a few seconds.

“Ah… this is so good.” Oikawa said, sinking comfortably into the tub and closing his eyes.

Ushijima stood up. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“Can you hand me the loofah hanging right there?” Oikawa asked, pointing towards the shelf near the mirror.

Ushijima sighed but picked the loofah up and presumed Oikawa would need the body wash too so he brought both along. Oikawa seemed much sober than before and something told Ushijima he shouldn’t stay inside the washroom with a very naked Oikawa any longer.

Handing Oikawa both the things, Ushijima turned away from Oikawa and how frustratingly visible he still was, even inside the tub.

“Good night.” He said and placed his hand on the doorknob to turn and leave.

“Umm… can I ask for one last favor?”

Ushijima turned around, carefully, slowly.

Oikawa had the loofah in his hand as he tried to wash his back. “I think I hurt my elbow while I was trying to get in. Can you wash my back?”

Ushijima didn’t want to. But Oikawa seemed to be really struggling.

Taking his jacket off, Ushijima then brought his jumper over his head and kept both on the futon by the door.

Oikawa’s eyes widened. “You’re still wearing your jersey?” he asked as he saw the number ‘11’ printed on his t-shirt.

“I just came from practice” Ushijima said and walked closer to the tub until he was next to Oikawa, facing him.

Squatting down with his knees on the floor, Ushijima took the loofah from Oikawa’s hand. “The practice went on late”

“Think you’ll beat us this time?” Oikawa asked casually as Ushijima asked him to turn until his back was to him.

“Yes.”

Oikawa laughed. Playing for Argentina had come as a blessing to Oikawa. After high school, when he had been selected in the Argentinian National Volleyball Team, he had not expected that his archrival from back when he was still a teenager, would be someone Oikawa would see again. But Ushijima was selected as a national Player for Japan, which meant that once a year, he did get to see Ushijima wherever the yearly international tournaments were held.

It was his dream, no, his determination to beat Ushijima once and the opportunity had arrived during last year’s world cup tournament where Argentina had beaten Japan in the semifinals. Oikawa remembered how he had gloated over it for a month.

“We’ll see.” Oikawa said.

If Ushijima was being honest, he hadn’t heard a single thing Oikawa was saying. His mind was an absolute blank, staring at the flawless skin on Oikawa’s back, the skin he was running the loofah against, with his hands.

If someone told him seven years ago that he would be in Oikawa’s washroom one day, helping him clean up, Ushijima would laugh at the person, despite the fact that he didn’t laugh, like at all. But it was happening. It was happening and Ushijima still didn’t believe it.

Only he knew the leash he was putting himself on, trying to stop his fingers from training along Oikawa’s back, wondering how he’d react to his touches. Would he moan? As Ushijima’s thumb pressed down on his lips, begging to enter? Would he call his name out?

“Hmm?” Oikawa asked, turning his head slightly.

Ushijima blinked. “Wh… what?” he asked.

“I asked if you are still in touch with Hinata.”

“Oh…” Ushijima said, coming back to his senses. “Yeah our clubs have matches on and off with each other.”

“It’s funny, you know?”

“What is?” Ushijima asked, breathing heavily as the loofah in his hand made frothing circled on Oikawa’s back.

Oikawa sighed slightly. “How Hinata and Kageyama make their relationship work, despite being in two different clubs.”

It did seem a little odd to Ushijima at first too. But when Ushijima had seen them play against each other, he had realized that they don’t challenge or play to bring the other down, they play to bring out the best in each other.

“I can see it work.” Ushijima said.

This took Oikawa by surprise. “You do?”

Ushijima nodded.

“Wow, Iwaizumi sees it too.” Oikawa said, “I guess it’s just me and my competitive ass that can’t see it. I can never imagine being with someone I play against.”

Right, Ushijima thought.

“Where is Iwaizumi by the way?” Ushijima asked clearing his mind of everything Oikawa. “It should be him doing this shit here”

“He’s visiting his family and I didn’t want to disturb him so I went out drinking alone”

That seemed right. There was no way Oikawa would be alone while in Japan and there was no way Ushijima would even be in his washroom had Iwaizumi been here. He didn’t know if he should thank Iwaizumi or curse him at this point.

“You seem sober now” Ushijima said “Here” he handed the loofah back to Oikawa.

Oikawa slowly turned around, facing him.

Ushijima stared at him. He was supposed to get up, wasn’t he? He was supposed to leave. And yet, the way Oikawa was staring at him, broke his resolve.

He had never seen that look in Oikawa’s eyes. Like he was yearning for something. Ushijima didn’t know what it was but he wanted to give it to Oikawa anyway. He would give him anything if Oikawa kept looking at him like that.

His hands reached out and touched Oikawa’s face, brushing something off.

The sudden contact was electric. Oikawa felt all his insides melting. Slowly, he closed his eyes.

“There was a bubble” Ushijima whispered, his words soft and tender.

Slowly, Oikawa fluttered his eyes open. He had expected Ushijima to move away but he had not. He was right where he had been, his eyes, still fixed on Oikawa.

Placing his hand on top of Ushijima’s, Oikawa withdrew it away from his face.

Ushijima thought Oikawa would yank it off, asking him never to touch him again. But what happened, rendered him senseless.

Taking Ushijima’s hand in his, Oikawa slowly directed it down his face, against his neck, trailing it along his collarbone, the make of his chest, his navel and finally…

“Oikawa…” Ushijima said, shocked and unable to find the words to say after that.

Instead of answering, Oikawa pressed Ushijima’s hand tight, until it was wrapped around Oikawa’s hard and painful erection.

What was happening? What was Oikawa doing? This was not like him.

Ushijima stilled, trying to wait for a reaction from Oikawa, perhaps in the line of cursing him. But nothing came. Instead, Oikawa tugged on Ushijima’s hand, gently, up and down until he was stroking Oikawa with a strong grip.

When the momentum was built, Oikawa let his hand go and rested it on the edge of the tub, sinking his head back against, feeling his body melt to the way Ushijima was stroking him.

Breathing loud, Oikawa’s eyes closed and lips parted as he let his soft whimpers escape him.

Ushijima stared at Oikawa and the way his chest was rising and falling with each stroke Ushijima made.

Suddenly, Oikawa painfully grunted. Why was Ushijima being to gentle? It made him wonder if Ushijima was always like this or was he just being careful with Oikawa.

“Faster” Oikawa whispered and Ushijima stopped.

Oikawa opened his eyes and looked at him, head titled but still rested against the back of the tub. That look in his eyes, the one Ushijima had seen a few minutes ago was still there.

He looked back at Ushijima and bit into his lower lip, like inviting Ushijima to do whatever he wanted with his body.

And Ushijima didn’t have to be told twice.

He moved his fingers, and his thumb pushed against the tip of Oikawa’s erection.

Oikawa’s eyes flew wide open. “Fuck” he muttered, suddenly arching forward as the pleasure consumed him. “Fuck” he said again. Ushijima continued to rub against the tip with his thumb and Oikawa thought he’d scream. How the fuck did Ushijima know to do this?

A loud moan escaped Oikawa’s lips and he realized he was on his limits. But Ushijima was not done. He released the tip from under his thumb and gripped Oikawa’s erection again, beginning to stroke him once more.

“Goddamnit” Oikawa said, his knees going weak and his head a messy pile of goo. “Fuck, shit”

Ushijima amped his pace and Oikawa thought he’d lose it.

Just as he was about to come, Oikawa suddenly turned towards Ushijima for support, his hand grabbing Ushijima by the shoulder and his head buried in the crook of Ushijima’s neck.

Ushijima didn’t go slow, neither did he go soft. He hand-fucked Oikawa with everything he had and Oikawa sunk deeper into Ushijima’s neck, unable to control his body and his reactions.

Oikawa thought he’d go mad.

To stop himself from making all the noises he was making, that were painfully beyond his control, he sunk his teeth on Ushijima’s shoulder, to stifle all his cries. Ushijima did not even flinch from the sudden pain because he was too consumed by the way Oikawa was reacting.

It was glorious, whatever Ushijima was witnessing, but it was not nearly enough. He wanted more, so, so much more and so, he gripped Oikawa slightly harder, stroking him faster than he was a few seconds ago.

Grunting and panting, Oikawa knew he had reached his limits. A few final strokes and Oikawa came between Ushijima’s fingers. He stayed still, in the comfortable hide of Ushijima’s neck for a few seconds, breathing heavily and taking in the intoxicating smell of Ushijima.

He smelled of faded musk mixed with sweat and all Oikawa wanted to do was trail his tongue along Ushijima’s neck.

Ushijima’s neck.

Ushijima.

Fuck!

It was then that the realization of what he had done, hit him.

The guilt came swarming in almost immediately.

How could he have been so stupid? He hated Ushijima. He hated everything about him and yet…

Oikawa distanced himself from Ushijima, only then seeing the red marks his teeth had left on his shoulder. He wanted to reach out and touch, to ask if he was okay, but when his eyes found Ushijima, everything changed.

Ushijima just sat there, unmoving. He wasn’t even looking at Oikawa. This was the first time since knowing him that Ushijima had stolen a glance away from him.

Was it because he too felt guilty? Or something worse, ashamed?

Oikawa didn’t have the courage to ask. He didn’t have to courage to meet Ushijima’s eyes either. And so, he did the only thing he thought was right.

“Leave” he said, turning to look at the water he was in, wishing he could drown himself in it.

Oikawa had expected Ushijima to say something when he asked him to leave. No matter how many arguments they’d had, Ushijima _always_ had something to say in return to all of Oikawa’s rants.

But something churned inside Oikawa’s chest when silence was all he got as an answer.

All Ushijima did was turn around, grab his jumper and his jacket, and left, without a word, without even a single glance at his way.

Oikawa buried his face in his hands, and only then did he realize, that his face was wet. The pleasure he had felt from Ushijima touching him, had left him in tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HOPE I CONTINUE THIS OH MY GOD MY BRAIN IS JUST FUZZZZZZZZ FROM ALL THE WRITING.
> 
> I bet you weren't expecting so much steam right in the first chapter, were you? *muaahahahha*
> 
> Leave comments please, I love reading them <3


	2. We made a pact, bro.

Oikawa exhaled heavily. “You can do this.” he said to himself, again, like he had been saying for the past fifteen minutes.

He curled his fists in to a ball. Why was he so nervous? It wasn’t like a guy had jerked him off for the first time. It wasn’t the first time he’d gotten drunk and done something stupid.

But it was Ushijima of all people. Ushijima.

“Fuck!” Oikawa said as he realized his own stupidity. How could he do this to Ushijima of all people? He hated him. Loathed him from the bottom of his heart. What the fuck had been wrong with him to let things go this far? To take Ushijima’s hand and…

Oikawa shook his head. That wasn’t important. What was important was for Oikawa to talk to him. To perhaps apologize. And to perhaps find out that what Oikawa had done, was a drunken stupidity, but why had Ushijima complied?

The nerves were starting to take a toll on Oikawa. He couldn’t believe he had been standing outside Ushijima’s apartment for fifteen minutes now, still unable to knock. Was he nervous because he hadn’t been able to sleep at all since Ushijima left? Or was it because he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about last night, even for a second?

Motivation. Oikawa needed motivation. Maybe he could call Iwaizumi and hear him cuss a few words that could give him the encouragement. Oikawa shook his head again. It was only 7 in the morning and he was pretty sure Iwaizumi would be asleep.

“You can do this.” Oikawa said , motivating himself again. “You can do this you fucking piece of horny jerk”

With that, he knocked.

Oikawa waited for a few minutes for Ushijima to answer but there was no response.

So he knocked again.

Even then, he didn’t hear any movements inside the house.

Thinking Ushijima wasn’t there, Oikawa rushed to his apartment and found a piece of paper and a pen. He jotted the words ‘We need to talk’ on it and slid it under Ushijima’s door. That should do for now!

It was early, way too early for Ushijima to be out and on his way. But there was no point staying at home because he hadn’t been able to sleep a wink last night.

The club matches were to be held in Kyoto for two weeks so Ushijima thought it was best to leave as early as possible. As be as far as possible.

Everything was still so fresh in his mind that he had to constantly look around on alert to make sure it wasn’t a dream. It was not. What happened last night, at Oikawa’s place, had actually happened.

Ushijima believe he was stupid. To have, even for a second, believed that Oikawa had been affectionate towards him. No, he had only been drunk.

When things were over last night, Ushijima had struggled, with everything he had in him to tell Oikawa that just because it was over for tonight, it didn’t mean it could be over forever. He wanted to tell Oikawa that even if they started off on the wrong foot, maybe they could change that. For the first time in a long time, Ushijima was hopeful.

And then it all came crumbling down.

The fact that Oikawa hated Ushijima, was something everyone in pro volleyball knew, Ushijima the most of all. Their rivalry was inevitable, Ushijima knew that too and he had expected Oikawa to hate him on court. But reality had a strange, sadistic way of biting you in the ass. Seven years ago, Ushijima had found out that Oikawa hated him not only on court, but off as well.

Over time, the hostility had increased for some reason, and Ushijima didn’t understand why. It was true Ushijima was a good player, but it wasn’t as if Oikawa was bad. So it was impossible for him to grasp the way Oikawa would talk to him rudely if they ever came across each other, every time Ushijima approached him after matches to talk, every time Ushijima even looked his way.

Initially, Ushijima ignored all those harsh words, looking past it, thinking Oikawa would stop eventually. But he didn’t. And with time, Ushijima learned to hate Oikawa too. So much so that hating Oikawa became a driving force in his life.

But then, last night happened.

If there was a feeling that had been constantly nagging Ushijima, it was the overwhelming feeling of being confused. First, Oikawa hated him, then asked him for help, then he’d been so fucking cute that Ushijima couldn’t find himself walking out of that washroom, then Oikawa had taking his hand and jerked himself off, which Ushijima gladly saw to the end and then he’d asked him to leave.

Nothing had impacted him, none of Oikawa’s words had stabbed him so brutally as much as that ‘leave’ he’d heard at the end of the night. It was laced with hate and resentment and guilt and shame. And Ushijima had felt his heart being ripped open as he took the steps away from Oikawa last night.

What was he supposed to do now?

He knew he should have at least tried to talk to Oikawa today but he was due to leave at 8 am anyhow in order to meet the schedule. And since he’d not been able to sleep, he decided to leave 3 hours earlier.

The next time he’d be able to see Oikawa now would be after two weeks, when the matches would be over.

Ushijima closed his eyes and rested against the car seat. “How much longer?” he asked. Maybe if he had enough time, he could sleep.

“Five more hours.”

Ushijima pulled the sleep mask over his eyes. “You need to drive faster. We already have been on the road since two. It doesn’t take seven hours to reach Kyoto.”

Eita Semi, Ushijima’s designated driver for the day as well as one of his best friends, gritted his teeth at him. “What the fuck are you so snappy about?”

“Nothing” Ushijima said immediately. “I just haven’t been able to sleep.”

“Well then sleep the fuck away, bitch.”

Tilting his head, Ushijima peeped through the sleep mask. “Can you stop saying ‘fuck’ so much?”

“Fuck no!” Semi smugly answered. “Do you know how fucking civil I have to be eight hours a day, five days a week because of my job? I don’t let my emotions be under any restraint in the remaining 72 hours.”

“Huh?” Ushijima asked. He knew his mathematics was bad, but he didn’t know it was this bad. He had always thought a week had more hours.

“Let me explain then…” Semi began, “I work for 40 hours a week and sleep for 56 hours a week so for those 96 hours, I can’t cuss. Therefore for the remaining 72 hours, I cuss out as much as I can”

This was even more difficult for Ushijima to comprehend. "Why are you driving me, by the way? I told you I could go with my team."

"Yeah but Satori had given me all those fliers" Semi said, pointing to the back of the car and Ushijima took a quick look. "He wants those distributed all over Kyoto."

Ushijima grabbed a page from the back seat and saw that it was a printed ad for Tendou's chocolate confectionary business. "This is an ad for Tokyo"

"Yeah" Semi said, "So?"

"So why does he want these fliers distributed in Kyoto? Who is going to drive for 6 hours just to eat his chocolates?"

This made Semi scratch his head and looked at Ushijima in confusion. "Fuck! That bitch has no business sense, does he? I swear if not a single customer from Kyoto turns up to eat that shit, I am going to fucking kill Satori."

Ushijima shook his head. “Just.. stop saying ‘fuck’ all the time, okay?”

“Why?” Semi teased. “Does it turn you on, my virgin boy?”

Suddenly, Ushijima pulled his sleep mask away in surprise and sat right up, looking at Semi. He was wagging his eyebrows and smiling like a devil.

Ushijima said something, more like mumbled but it was so low that Semi couldn’t hear it.

“What did you say, virgin boy?” Semi asked.

“I… I said I’m not a virgin.”

The tires screeched as Semi brought the car to a terrifying halt in the middle of the highway when he heard Ushijima.

“You what?” he asked, turning immediately and conveniently ignoring how he could have caused a massive accident with what he had done.

Ushijima breathed and slowly pulled his hand away from over his chest. “I said I am not a virgin.”

“What the fuck Ushiwaka?” Semi looked betrayed. “When? Who? Where? Fuck! I can’t believe this. You fucking traitor. What even the fuck?”

“Okay…” Ushijima said, turning towards Semi. “Calm down.”

“You fucking calm down, you bitch. I thought we had a pact.”

“I know… but…”

“No fucking buts you betrayed Satori and me.” Semi fumed, shaking his head. “I can’t fucking believe this shit.”

“It really wasn’t a big deal, okay?”

“Well maybe it wasn’t a big deal to you but it fucking was to me and Satori. We had a pact, bro.”

“I never really signed that pact, did I?”

“That…” Semi faltered, “That doesn’t matter because we made a pact and you were in the room so it was your duty to call us on video immediately. We had a wager.”

With that, he grabbed Ushijima by the collar and pulled it down. “Do you still have it?”

Ushijima slapped Semi’s hand away. “That was two years ago. How the fuck can I have a mark from then?”

Semi shook his head. “I can’t believe this. Satori and I called immediately after, and I literally stood there half naked while Satori counted all my hickeys. Why do you think I went through all that humiliation?”

Ushijima sighed. He still remembered that day in high school when a senior player in the team went about the court, pulling his shirt off his neck and flaunting all the hickeys he got from his girlfriend. It had fascinated Semi and Tendou so much that they decided to make a wager that whoever got the most hickeys on losing their virginity, would inevitably be called ‘Sex God’ by the others. They had even signed on it. Ushijima’s only fault was being in the room. Which according to some law in Semi and Tendou’s rulebook, dictated that he was a part of it too. They had made a pact soon after that the moment they would have sex for the first time, they’d call the others and get their hickeys counted.

Tendou even maintained an excel sheet.

“I am sorry, okay?” Ushijima said. “It was a long time ago and… and it wasn’t like you all had said it would be. It was awkward and strange and all skin. So much skin.” Ushijima whispered. 

Semi calmed down. “Who was it?”

Ushijima wasn’t sure he should say because if the word spread out, it could harm both their careers as both were the top players in the league.

“Well?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Okay” Semi said and Ushijima thought he’s back off, but boy was he wrong. Semi pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed Ushijima the screen. “I am calling Satori and telling him about our virgin boy being virgin no more.”

Ushijima immediately snatched the phone away. If Tendou found out, he would leave no stone unturned to show up at the match later and yell at Ushijima from the stands, demanding to know who he had slept with. Tendou was scary when he could be.

“Tell me who it was. Was it that guy who asked you out on coffee in Australia?”

Ushijima shook his head. He really was in a pickle.

“Was it that reporter girl who wouldn’t leave you alone?”

Ushijima’s eyes widened. “She’s like… Fourty.”

“So? I like mature women.”

“Well I don’t”

Semi sighed, “Are you going to spill or should I call Satori?”

“It was Atsumu, okay?”

Semi slammed his hand to his mouth. “One of the Miya Twins? The MSBY shitter?”

“Setter.” Ushijima corrected him.

“Well he talks a lot of shit so… But him?”

Ushijima didn’t know what to say.

“I thought you didn’t like him.” Semi continued.

Ushijima shrugged. “I thought the same but when we played together in 2016, things changed. He… how do I explain?” Ushijima struggled. “He understood me, you know?”

“Wow” Semi said and sunk back in his chair. “I haven’t heard you say that about anyone, like literally.”

Ushijima breathed out loud. “But it was just one time” he said. “We’ve only been good friends since then”

“That’s sad” Semi said and started the car again.

“Why?”

There was a long silence before Semi spoke up. “Because I thought you’d finally be over Oikawa”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah! What? Yeah!  
> I LOVE THIS SEMI BRUHHHHHH


	3. It was a mistake

“Are you all packed?” Iwaizumi asked as he flipped the pages of the magazine he had picked up at Oikawa’s pace.

The latter’s head popped out of his bedroom door just enough so he could see Iwaizumi. “You know, it wouldn’t kill you to help me.”

Iwaizumi shook his head. “The moment I enter your room, you will dump all your luggage and your clothes on me.”

Oikawa sighed. “Come on Hajime” Oikawa begged. “My flight is in five hours and I have just one bag packed”

“One bag is all you need if you’re being honest with yourself”

“You know what I say, Hajime, Honesty is the worst policy”

Iwaizumi looked up from the magazine and finally stared at Oikawa. “You’ve literally never said that. Besides, I told you to reduce your carry-on luggage; how the fuck do you still have fifteen?”

Oikawa surfaced out, walked over to the refrigerator and pulled two cans of beer out before heading over to where Iwaizumi was.

“It’s 9 am” Iwaizumi said.

“So?” Oikawa asked. “It’s not 9 am in Argentina. Just drink, okay? It’s the last beer of the year anyway”

Once Oikawa went back, he would abstain from drinking for eleven months until he was given time off for the year. So he didn’t care if it was 9 am or 5 am. His flight was in a few hours and he would like to get moderately drunk before he couldn’t touch alcohol for almost a year.

Even though he was reluctant, Iwaizumi took the beer because if he didn’t, Oikawa would keep whining about how he can’t drink unless he has someone to drink with.

Iwaizumi looked at the scattered bags and the open suitcases lying haphazardly on the floor near Oikawa’s room. “Why do you have to carry so much every year? Can’t you just buy stuff in Argentina?”

Oikawa shook his head. “Argentina doesn’t have the ‘cute’ element that Japan has. Do you know how many hook ups I’ve been able to have because of my clothes from here?”

Iwaizumi smacked Oikawa’s head lightly. “How many times have I told you to stop doing that? Stop hooking up with random people you don’t know”

Oikawa handed him the beer and they both took a sip before Oikawa replied. “So what am I supposed to do? Stay chaste all my life?”

“Or find a steady relationship”

This made Oikawa laugh so hard his tipped his head back. “Are you serious? Me and relationships? Have you met me?” Oikawa asked. “I can’t do relationships, Hajime. And you know that. I am not built that way.”

Turning to look at Oikawa with concern, Iwaizumi held his gaze. “Don’t you feel the need to have something steady?”

Oikawa hadn’t really thought about it. He was always so self-driven and always so motivated towards his goals that he hadn’t had the time to mull it over. It was not like Oikawa hadn’t tried to be in a relationship. A couple of years back a pretty nice guy had asked Oikawa out after they’d met at a club and Oikawa, despite his reluctance of wanting a relationship, had agreed. Things went pretty well for the first couple of months when the guy was still smitten by Oikawa’s stardom as a national player. But then the magic wore off and Oikawa’s late light practices became a nuisance, his focus on his goal became a burden and his love for the game became the reason their relationship wasn’t working out. ‘You’re never here’ is what the guy had told Oikawa before breaking up.

He presumed the guy was right. Oikawa did have a one track mind when it came to his career and his dreams and relationships would just be a block, stopping him from achieving them.

Just like Iwaizumi was advising Oikawa now, he had done a couple of months after that breakup too. “Find someone who loves volleyball as much as you do.”

Did Oikawa try? Yes.

Did he succeed? Not a chance.

His team had a substitute right-wing-spiker who was kinda cute and very, very tall and buff and everything that made Oikawa salivate. Upon Iwaizumi’s insistence, Oikawa had approached him and expressed his thoughts of going out on coffee sometimes. That’s how Oikawa’s second relationship started. It was perfect. The guy had so many things in common with Oikawa that Oikawa settled into the relationship almost immediately. They didn’t communicate much but who needed communication when there was volleyball, right?

Wrong.

No matter how much they loved volleyball, they literally had nothing else to talk about except that. Every breakfast, lunch, dinner, date, day off conversation was always Volleyball. Now Oikawa loved the game and he loved it more than anyone he knew, but he had other interests too for fuck sake! He wanted to talk about his problems, apprehensions, his family, friends, even the fucking weather sometimes but that never happened. All the times when they were not talking about volleyball, the guy was either completely distracted, or only answered in a ‘hmm’.

Oikawa broke up with him four months after they began dating, swearing he would never date a teammate every again because things had become so, so awkward at court. The only consolation was that the guy was a sub so Oikawa didn’t have to interact much with him.

That was when Oikawa swore off relationships.

So to answer Iwaizumi’s question, no, Oikawa did not feel the need to have something steady. He did however, sometimes feel lonely. Coming back to an empty house day after day after day, was the only thing that bothered him. But just in the slightest. Not to the point where he wanted someone there all the time. Still, it would nice to come home and find someone smiling at him every once in a while.

And maybe that was why he had given in so easily two weeks ago when Ushijima had been there to help him.

Because Oikawa remembered feeling lonely coming back home from Argentina after a year, only to find his only best friends out of town to visit his family. There was no one to greet Oikawa, no one to ask him how his year in Argentina was. If he was eating well or sleeping enough. There was no one assure him that he shouldn’t train so hard and that rest is equally important.

And when Oikawa had let that feeling settle in, he had gone out drinking.

What happened afterwards, was just a aftermath of his horny instincts when he was drunk and lonely.

“Shit I have to get to work” Iwaizumi interrupted him suddenly, looking at the watch on his wrist.

He placed the magazine and the beer can on the coffee table and stood up.

“Your flight’s in five hours, right?”

Oikawa nodded and stood up too.

Iwaizumi reached for a hug and patted Oikawa slowly on his back. “Pack only what you need and do it immediately after I leave. Have a safe flight. Call me when you land, okay?”

Oikawa smiled but didn’t say anything. This was another sad goodbye before he would fly off to Argentina for another year. He hated seeing Iwaizumi leave and not seeing him again for eleven straight months but how could he complain. It was him who had decided to leave Iwaizumi first, all those years ago after high school.

He supposed instead of dwelling on that, he should have been thankful that after Iwaizumi came back from his parent’s house, he spent _all_ of his time at Oikawa’s place, except when he had to work.

“Sorry I won’t be able to drive you to the airport” the best friend said apologetically.

Oikawa shook his head. It was fine. This was fine. Iwaizumi had new volleyball players coming in to train under him and the first day was very important.

No matter how much Oikawa wanted to have someone to drop him off and pick him up, he knew it wasn’t possible or practical.

Iwaizumi left and Oikawa sank back into his chair, picking his can of beer again. Iwaizumi hadn’t even touched his beer except the one sip that he took at the beginning. Oikawa knew Iwaizumi had done that just to accompany him because he hated drinking alone.

Well, Iwaizumi was off to work and Oikawa was back to being alone in his big, big apartment.

He finished his beer and walked over to the mess he had made on the floor with all his clothes lying randomly. He kicked one of the suitcases, like that would magically wrap everything inside and pack itself.

When that didn’t happen, Oikawa decided to settle back down on the couch.

The door to the washroom was open from all the toiletries Oikawa had started packing two hours ago and his eyes momentarily rested on the tub.

The memories of that night came swarming in and hit him like a tsunami.

He hadn’t heard anything from Ushijima since then. The first two days after that had been a complete torture. With Oikawa fixating on how Ushijima was purposefully ignoring him. But a quick chat with Hinata had told him that Ushijima and his team were in Kyoto for matches for two weeks.

Oikawa didn’t understand but something like relief had settled in within him when he heard that.

But then there was the impending ‘talk’.

He wasn’t sure when Ushijima would return exactly but the ‘talk’ had been stalled off for so long now, all it was going to be was awkward.

A week after that night, Oikawa had stood outside Ushijima’s apartment again, trying to figure out ways to retrieve the note he’d slid below the door. He had even tried to guess Ushijima’s pass code twice but had failed. He had only retreated to his room because one more try and the security alert would go off.

Picking up the beer Iwaizumi had left, Oikawa took a long haul until the can was half empty. He still didn’t understand that night and what had happened. He still didn’t know why Ushijima was willing to play along in his foolishness. He didn’t know what he was thinking when he asked his archrival to jerk him off and he still didn’t know why the fuck it had felt so good.

He looked down, only to find out that he was already half-hard from thinking about it.

Fuck! This was not good. He didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole again.

Oikawa had spent the past two weeks, pushing all those feelings aside. Feelings he still didn’t know what to call. It was a mistake, he kept lying to himself, over and over and over again until he had believed his own lies.

“It was just a mistake.” He said once more. Yeah, once more and the lie would become the only truth he knew.

But even the lie wasn’t doing anything to bring the swelling in his pants down. Sighing, Oikawa turned the TV on. Nothing like TV to ruin your mood.

He switched channels until he found some boring TV drama where it was difficult for him to comprehend what was happening. But he forced himself to watch until the feeling in his pants was back to normal.

Once it was, it was time to start packing again.

To say that Ushijima was tired, was an understatement. The practices and the matches had exhausted him completely and all he wanted was to go home and hit the bed and sleep for three straight days. He had told himself that as he passed the hallway to his apartment, he wouldn’t look at Oikawa’s door, he wouldn’t think about that door or him for that matter and he most definitely would not knock on it.

The past two weeks were hectic. There was practice, then the match, then more practice and then Semi lecturing him on how being obsessed with someone for over seven years was not healthy and how he needed to move on for his own sake, and it went on repeat, day after day for fourteen straight days. He supposed Semi was right. He too had started feeling how unhealthy his obsession was. Especially after Oikawa had told him the random digits of his pass code and Ushijima had immediately figured out that it was his birthday.

He bet Oikawa didn’t even know the month Ushijima was born in.

Ushijima hadn’t told Semi about that night with Oikawa. Mainly because he’d lecture Ushijima for another four hours and Ushijima loved sleep. That was the only thing that gave him enough energy for the next day.

As they drove back from Kyoto, Ushijima hoped that Oikawa would have already left for Argentina. He didn’t stay longer than two weeks anyway when he was back and Ushijima just prayed that by the time he went home, Oikawa wasn’t there.

Semi helped Ushijima with the luggage but insisted that he had to leave immediately because he had exhausted his leaves by accompanying Ushijima to Kyoto and his boss would murder him if he didn’t show up today.

Ushijima nodded and once Semi was gone, he pressed his hand onto the digital lock. Thanks to Semi, Ushijima hadn’t even glanced at Oikawa’s door on their way up but now that he was gone, Ushijima couldn’t help but steal a glance.

“No” he said to himself. This wouldn’t do any good. So instead of looking towards Oikawa’s door, Ushijima opened the door to his own apartment.

He was immediately met with what looked like a pile of letters and notes slid under his door.

Not again. He sighed and pulled his phone out before calling the security manager of the building. This was not the first time his apartment had been flooded with letters from fans. Ushijima wouldn’t mind picking them up himself but it was not always the fans who sent stuff.

Sometimes there were stalkers too.

Just a few months ago Ushijima had received a letter written in blood that had been carefully slid under his door. Although the security was tight in the building, these people always found a way.

The security manager arrived almost immediately, picked up all the envelopes and papers, gathered them and apologized profusely to Ushijima.

Ushijima nodded and the manager left with it all.

Keeping his luggage neatly on the side, Ushijima walked to the refrigerator to get some water, only to realize that that he had carried the last bottle with him when he was leaving, thinking he’d buy more on his way back. But he had forgotten.

He left to get water first.

The packing was finally, finally done and Oikawa was ready to leave. He called for a cab and one after the other, pulled all his luggage out of his apartment.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, looking at the fifteen bags and suitcases. How was he supposed to take all his downstairs? Would it fit in one cab? What if he ordered another cab just for his luggage and the man ran off with everything?

He winced at the thought of his clothes being stolen.

Shaking his head, Oikawa decided to fuck it. He’ll see what needed to be done when he reached downstairs.

Gathering all his luggage in front of the elevator, Oikawa pressed the button and waited for it to reach. The elevator stopped on multiple floors and this was the only time Oikawa hated that he was so high up. Living on the 37th floor always meant that there were too many people getting in and getting off on the floors below.

Oikawa exhaled in relief when the elevator dinged on his floor but when the door opened, his breathing stopped altogether.

Standing there was Ushijima holding something in his hands, staring down at Oikawa.

For a few seconds, time stopped moving. Oikawa and Ushijima stood there, staring at each other, without a single word exchanged between them.

It was like they were both in trance.

And the only reason Oikawa broke away from the trance was because the elevator door moved to close back again.

Ushijima held his hand out to hold the door but still didn’t say anything.

So Oikawa spoke first. “Did you just get back?”

Ushijima blinked, then slowly nodded. “Are you leaving?”

“Yes.” Oikawa said.

“Okay” was all Oikawa got in return from Ushijima. Oikawa could feel the ice in his voice blistering his skin. It was as awkward as he had expected, but he had not expected Ushijima to be this cold. Did he get Oikawa’s note? Because it didn’t seem like he wanted to talk, at all.

And when Oikawa realized that, he automatically went on a defensive mode.

Ushijima walked out and kept everything he was holding, on the floor. And seeing how calm he was, fuelled Oikawa’s anger. He charged into the elevator, barely restraining himself from throwing the luggage in.

All Oikawa had wanted to do was talk calmly and apologize for that night. But Ushijima’s gaze and his words were telling Oikawa that he didn’t want to talk. Instead, he wanted to avoid it altogether. Maybe Oikawa had been right all along. Ushijima did feel ashamed about what happened.

Oikawa wanted to tear the walls out because why the fuck didn’t he feel ashamed too? There was guilt, yes, there was the realization that Ushijima was his rival, someone he hated. So why was it Ushijima instead of Oikawa who was ashamed of what had happened? Didn't he hate Ushijima more than Ushijima hated him? Wasn't it supposed to be Oikawa who was supposed to be this cold instead? 

He almost laughed at how he had planned to apologize for that night. How stupid of him. This was Ushijima. He didn't deserve an apology. 

One after the other, Oikawa pushed his luggage into the elevator, anger gripping him from all over.

Once he was done, he turned around, only to find Ushijima still standing there, holding the elevator door for Oikawa.

Fuck! Why couldn’t he just leave Oikawa alone?

Ushijima who was still trying to settle his thoughts from having encountered Oikawa suddenly, realized the finality of the situation. Oikawa was leaving and who knew how long before he would see him again. Who knew if they would even qualify for the yearly international tournament and who knew when he would come back.

Fuck getting over his obsession, fuck whatever Semi told him. All Ushijima wanted was to talk to him, about what had happened.

“Oikawa…” Ushijima began, as Oikawa stared at him with what looked like hurt in his eyes. “About that night…”

Oikawa put his hand up and cut Ushijima off.

Ushijima finally let the elevator door go. It dinged and closed and went all the way down and Ushijima stood there, motionless.

As he took heavy steps towards his apartment, all he could think were Oikawa’s last words.

_‘That night didn’t mean anything. It was all a mistake.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *evil grin*


	4. Careful

It was time for the ‘National Volleyball League’ and to say that Oikawa was nervous, would be a massive understatement. Because he was also infuriatingly scared. Not of the league or the competition, but of coming across one left-handed monster from Japan that had wrecked many of Oikawa’s nights since his return to Argentina.

It had been five months since the final words that had been exchanged between them. Although Oikawa believed he could have handled the situation more maturely, he didn’t think that it was something Ushijima didn’t deserve.

“You okay?” one of Oikawa’s teammate asked. He looked up from the bench he was sitting on to find his team captain Juan looking at him worriedly. Oikawa nodded. “It’s just nerves”

Juan smiled and took a seat next to him. Placing his hand slowly on Oikawa’s shoulder, he patted him lightly. “We’ll do good” he said and Oikawa agreed. They had spent hours, no, days analyzing each opposing team and their offence and defense and had spent many sleepless nights trying to work out strategies on their own.

But the thing was- no team played like its previous matches because they too devised and improved their strategies of play each year. So all Oikawa was banking on was his determination to win and his talent that he had perfected with hard work.

Since coming back, he had found himself in a slump for a month, always being distracted and not been able to give the game a hundred percent. Juan and the team had helped him though. As much as they could and the only reason Oikawa was able to get over the slump was because of his teammates’ undying belief that Oikawa was undefeatable. That was why he was nervous. Because he wanted to prove to his team that their trust in him was not for nothing.

But more than that he was nervous about not letting himself down. Ever since he came back from Japan, he had spent hours in self-loath, thinking how he’s nothing but a loser to have done something like what he did.

So he needed a win. He needed this win very, very bad.

Upon Juan’s insistence, Oikawa accompanied him to the notice board where they could find out which pool they were in for each week.

There were twelve core teams and four challenger teams. Since the teams would compete in a round-robin format of play, each team would get to play every other team all throughout 120 matches that would be held for 5 weeks straight. There were a total of 20 pools of 4 teams each, rotated throughout the game and Oikawa despite his reluctance kept looking at all the pools, trying to find the one he didn’t want to actively admit he was looking for.

Week 1 Argentina was in pool 3 with Australia, China and South Korea.

Week 2 Argentina was in pool 7 with Iran, Italy and Serbia.

Week 3 they were in pool 10 with Poland, Germany and Canada.

Week 4 was with Russia, US and Brazil in pool 15.

And then Oikawa finally found what he was looking for.

Week 5, pool 19- Bulgaria, France and Japan!

Oikawa then looked at the schedule.

Except for the first week, they weren’t even in the same country to have come across each other. All the pools were hosted at least once in each country that was participating and except for the first week in France, their schedules didn’t even collide until the 5th week.

This was fine, it was only the first week and the last week that Oikawa had to be careful about.

For those two weeks, f he just stayed out of the court and ran back to his hotel room after every match, he wouldn’t have to encounter Ushijima for an entire month despite being so near. Except when they played against each other.

Yes, that was the plan. Appear on courts for the matches and practices and hide in his room for the rest of the time. He wasn’t sure how effective that was though but he was banking on this stupid plan with all his life.

It would work. It had to work!

The first week was an incredible success. Both for his team and for himself. Argentina had a match against Australia and they won the first, third and fourth set, securing their first win in the league. They lost the second match to China the day after but secured a win against South Korean on the third day of the pool game.

And Oikawa also counted in his personal success as for the whole of the week, he hadn’t even come across Ushijima, not even from a remote distance.

Happy with the success of his tiny plan, Oikawa decided to retire to his room for the night. He was tired and overworked and stressed. Nothing a good night’s rest wouldn’t fix. He was about to leave with his teammates when someone patted his on his shoulder.

Oikawa’s face lit up in delight. “Shoyo” he said and Hinata rushed to hug him.

“It’s so good to see you again.” Hinata beamed, pulling away from the hug. “Are you going back to the hotel?”

Oikawa nodded and it disappointed Hinata. “I think I’ll just go get some rest.”

“Oh man, we were just planning to go get dinner. We found a pretty dope Korean barbeque place. Want to join us?”

“We?” he asked immediately.

Hinata nodded. “Kageyama, Bokuto, Omi and some others from the team.”

“Is Ushijima coming too?” he asked before he could stop himself.

Hinata simply shook his head in answer. This was what Oikawa liked best about Hinata. He never asked questions that other would ask, trying to pry into personal life. Any other person would have hounded him on why he was especially enquiring about Ushijima. But Hinata took everything as it was and accepted it all.

“He said he had some work so he won’t be joining us.” Hinata said.

Oikawa didn’t understand why he was disappointed by that but he pushed that feeling far, far away. If Ushijima wasn’t coming, wasn’t it all the more reason for Oikawa to join them? Besides, it had been long since Oikawa had Korean barbeque. “Okay” Oikawa said gladly. “I’ll come with. Let me just inform my team”

Once Oikawa had told his captain that he was meeting old friends, Hinata took him to a restaurant that they had booked for the dinner.

It was small, yet crammed place. Everyone was already huddled around a big table that had three grills built into them.

Oikawa saw a few familiar faces as he entered. Kageyama was there, Bokuto too, both welcoming him with a smile. The others greeted him too and Oikawa was suddenly happy to have said yes to coming to dinner. All these people were familiar to Oikawa, people he had played with or come across in his home country. It was nice.

Oikawa took a seat on the opposite of Sakusa who simply looked at him and nodded.

“No handshake, Omi?” Oikawa asked, teasing him.

Sakusa looked at Oikawa scandalously, like he had just committed a crime. It was bad enough that Sakusa had been forced to come to a restaurant with the team. “Stay away.”

“How ‘bout a hug?” Oikawa teased further as Hinata elbowed him lightly from the left. “What about a kiss then?”

Threatened that Oikawa might do what he said, Sakusa pulled some tissues out and wrapped them around the butter knife before pointing it at Oikawa. “Don’t you dare.”

The banter went on for a few more minutes before they ordered their choices of vegetables and meat for the barbeque.

“I saw your game against China” Kageyama said soon after the orders had been placed. “Their offence is very strong”

Suddenly all eyes were on Oikawa. He nodded. “They change their strategy in every game.” Oikawa said. “One game it’s offence, next is defense. They like to keep switching”

Oikawa explained the game they had played with China in details and talked about every mistake both teams had made, only to figure out that although China had made the same number or errors as Argentina, they had won the game because somehow, they had found a way to score points off each mistake Argentina had made.

“We have a match with them in two weeks” Hinata said, sounding excited after hearing Oikawa. It made the setter laugh. Only Hinata could get so excited upon hearing such a thing.

The meat and vegetables they had ordered for arrived and Bokuto, Hinata and Oikawa took charge on the grills.

“And we will crush them” Bokuto added, picking up a piece of meat from the serving and crushing it with his hand. He was immediately met with cusses from others for spoiling food.

“Where is Atsumu?” Sakusa finally asked when his patience ran out. The only reason he had admitted coming to the restaurant was because a certain someone had promised to feed him so he wouldn’t have to touch the cutlery at all.

Hinata fished his phone out of the pocket and called him immediately.

“Atsumu said he’s just outside. He’s trying to convince Ushiwaka to come with him”

“He’s what?” Oikawa asked, suddenly louder than he had ever been.

Everyone turned to look at him and Oikawa felt stupid and exposed. Why the fuck did he have to react like that? What was he supposed to do now? How was he supposed to explain his reaction to them?

“Are you okay?” Kageyama asked.

But before Oikawa could answer, the door to the restaurant opened and in came Atsumu Miya dragging Ushijima behind him by his hand.

Suddenly the air inside the restaurant shifted.

Ushijima spotted Oikawa sitting there with his team and suddenly stopped in his tracks.

Oikawa’s eyes first fell on Ushijima’s face. He was as shocked to find Oikawa there as Oikawa was to see him walk him. Then, Oikawa’s eyes fell on Ushijima’s hand that was tightly wrapped in Miya’s as he was trying to bring him to the table.

Suddenly, Ushijima let Miya’s hand go. He didn’t even know why he did that. All he knew was that the way Oikawa was looking at him, made him feel uncomfortable.

“Come on Ushiwaka” Miya pressed. “You said you’d join us for dinner if I helped you shop”

Ushijima had half a mind to walk out and leave everyone hanging. But then, he saw his teammates looking at him with smile on their faces, hoping he would join them. The only person who didn’t seem pleased with his presence was Oikawa and fuck Oikawa. How even was he to hold that power over him? Ushijima’s didn’t give a fuck about him anymore. He had stopped the very day Oikawa had made it clear that whatever happened between them had been a mistake. He wouldn’t let one person spoil his time with the people he had come to call friends.

Clearing his throat, Ushijima walked towards the table.

Miya quickly took the seat next to Sakusa, which meant that on a table for ten, nine were occupied and the only remaining seat was next to Oikawa.

Ushijima was reluctant at first. Joining everyone for dinner was one thing. Sitting next to Oikawa in a crammed restaurant was another thing.

“Ushiwaka…” Bokuto said and Ushijima turned to him. He pointed at the meat on the table and the grill. “We’re making your favorite…. _samgyeopsal_ ” Bokuto wiggled his eyebrows happily and Ushijima decided keep all his personal shit aside and join them.

The chatter at the table continued as usual and Oikawa breathed out in relief that no one had pursued his reaction to Ushijima earlier. But the relief didn’t last long.

Oikawa was busy grilling when Ushijima reached for a glass of water and his hand brushed against the setter.

Oikawa suddenly found his breathing hitched at the sudden contact. He had expected some tension between the two but the tension he felt between them was off the charts. For some reason, the brief second when they had touched, Oikawa felt something electric run between them. Something raw and monumental and consuming.

Ushijima withdrew his hand immediately but the sensation of a weird tingle still lurked along Oikawa’s arm.

Maybe it was a mistake, Oikawa thought. He’d be more careful the next time and he believed Ushijima would too. But the thing was, Ushijima sat to Oikawa’s right and he was left handed while Oikawa was right. Which meant their hands came in contact far more times than either would care to admit.

And it was torture. Because the more they touched, the more Oikawa found himself on edge. Like there was a bomb inside of him, ticking constantly, waiting to go off. Any slight movement from Ushijima’s side and Oikawa would find himself on high alert. It was making him a nervous wreck and he hated this feeling. Of not being sure of when the bomb would go off next.

Oikawa tried to discard all thoughts from his mind. He slid a glance at Ushijima from the corner of his eyes and found that he was busy talking to Sakusa and Miya. Shaking himself out of it, Oikawa tried to focus on grilling the meat. He cut it into consumable pieces using the scissor and Miya helped himself, feeding Sakusa before he fed himself.

Oikawa eased a little, seeing how everyone was busy and consumed and Kageyama brought his attention from Ushijima to volleyball by asking him a few more questions about the game.

Just then, Hinata’s voice reached him. “Kageyama let go”

All eyes turned to the grill in front of Bokuto where Hinata and Kageyama had both their tongs on the final piece of meat.

“That’s mine” Kageyama said in a stoic tone.

“It isn’t” Hinata retorted. “You just hogged down two pieces so this one’s mine”

“Guys…” someone from their team, on Bokuto’s far right interrupted. It was Morisuke Yaku, Japan’s libero. “We can order more, there is no need to fight”

“Kageyama, I said let go”

“ _You_ let go”

They went on, back and forth and Oikawa was met with a hit of familiar nostalgia. He still did not know how these two maintained a steady relationship with all the fights they had on a regular basis. “It’s like they’re in high school all over again” Oikawa said, sighing and shaking his head.

“Shut up” Kageyama spat at Oikawa which made the latter laugh.

“Stop fighting you two” came another voice and Oikawa noticed it was Aran Ojiro, their team’s Left-Side Hitter.

“No, let them fight” Korai Hoshiumi quickly added and Bokuto started laughing.

“Yes, let them fight. You either win or you die” Bokuto said, taking two cooked pieces of meat in his hands and crushing them again and eating immediately after.

“No one’s dying” Wakatsu Kiryu assured them.

But neither Hinata, nor Kageyama heard. Hoshiumi and Bokuto’s words were enough encouragement for the two idiots fighting over the final piece of meat on the table in a restaurant that could provide them more.

Hinata tugged with all his might and so did Kageyama, not letting either take it away from the other. They pressed on the small piece of food with their tongs, with all the force they had.

That was until the pressure from their tongs tore the meat into two and their hands jerked back suddenly from the release of the force.

Hinata’s hand flew back and the tong he was holding was just about to hit Oikawa on the face when Oikawa’s reflexes kicked in and he leaned back, trying to avoid it.

Big mistake.

They were sitting on a long wooden bench that had no backrest and in his pursuit to avoid Hinata’s tong hitting his face or his elbows hitting his ribs, Oikawa leaned back farther than he should have. He was certain he was going to fall when suddenly, a hand rested on his back, steadying him and stopping him from falling over.

Oikawa turned his head to find Ushijima staring at him.

He pressed his hand against Oikawa’s back until he was sitting straight again and then, Ushijima’s hand slid to Oikawa’s lower back for support.

“Careful” Ushijima said and Oikawa left a storm raging inside of him. This was the first word Ushijima had spoken to him since they had met. Since Oikawa had left that day, five months ago.

Oikawa wasn’t sure if Ushijima felt what Oikawa was feeling in that moment because his ears were ringing like a million alarms had been set off inside of him. All his senses were on fire and his heart was beating faster than it normally did.

Oikawa swallowed a lump in his throat, feeling the tension between them skyrocket. It burned his skin, like he was walking on molten rocks barefoot. He didn’t have a name for all these feelings. And he wasn’t even sure why he was so consumed by it all. All Oikawa knew was that he needed so much fucking more of it.

Ushijima withdrew his hand and Oikawa exhaled. He could have sworn the hand had lingered on his back far longer than necessary. Oikawa wanted it to stay there a little longer.

The dinner continued until everyone settled back to easy conversations. Everyone except Oikawa whose mind was in an overdrive. Thinking about Ushijima and his big, strong hands, doing things to him that would make him scream.

‘That night was a mistake’ had been a mantra Oikawa had been following for so long now, that he had suppressed every thought, every feeling that erupted from recounting that night. And tonight, at the dinner, when Ushijima had touched him, Oikawa felt like all those suppressed feelings would explode.

As he went back to his hotel room, Oikawa distressfully admitted that whatever that night was, five months ago, even if it was a mistake, was something he’d like to repeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their tension pricks my skin 😭😭😭
> 
> Also, a box of donuts for me for researching Volleyball tournaments successfully 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭


	5. Shower and food

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed a line in the previous chapter where Oikawa plans on avoiding Ushi by arriving at courts and leaving early. I missed out a very crucial part of volleyball tournament (yes I am aware I am incredibly stupid) that every pool match is held in a different country so I changed that part. Now he isn't avoiding Ushi. He is extremely ecstatic that they are separated by thousands of miles and time zones. Or maybe not. Oikawa is as stupid as me! (if anyone wants to find that para, it is immediately after the match schedules)

Week 2 and Week 3’s playoffs were seamless. Argentina had won five of the six games, only losing to Germany in week 3.

But it was the fourth week’s play offs that were humiliating, to say the least. Oikawa was having a hard time grasping the fact that they had lost to Russia, Brazil and the US.

Although they had managed to take two full sets in all three matches, they had lost the fifth brutally and repeatedly.

“It’s okay” Juan had said and cheered them on. “We still have next week”

Yes, Oikawa had another week to turn the table around. Oikawa’s team was strong. It was capable and Oikawa knew no matter how many times they failed, they’d walk back to that damn court to play one more match.

The weekend was important, as Juan had told everyone. “Go back to your room and rest. We have the day off tomorrow so you can relax”

Oikawa didn’t want to relax. He wanted to practice. He wanted to take the volleyball and shove it on the face of that smug Russian player who had smiled at him when they were shaking hands after the match was over. ‘We are far better than you’ is what that smile said to Oikawa.

He had thought China would be the biggest problem this year. He was wrong. Russia was, if not more, equally threatening because they had won all the three matches of the week- against Argentina, Brazil and US. It did kind of make sense because the 15th pool was hosted in Russia. So being their home turf, the win was expected.

What was not expected was that Argentina would lose against Brazil and the US too.

No one really likes to admit but the crowd plays a very, very big role in cheering teams on or bringing them down. The Russian crowd was very forthcoming with their support towards their national team. It was the same with every country when their home team played. But Russia was a level up. Their energy clearly fueled the players and the better the players played, the more energy the crowd employed, thus making the team even stronger.

Oikawa would admit it was a beautiful thing had his team not lost.

He sighed and picked his bag up from the bench at the court they had just played on. Juan and others had already left for the hotel but Oikawa insisted that he stay a little longer, wanting to analyze the game they had just lost.

The court was eerily empty. And Oikawa liked it that way. He liked the way the tiniest of the sound would echo in this large stadium and he loved how insignificant everything else seemed in comparison to the expanse of this place that Oikawa worshipped.

Ever since he was five, he had wanted to become a volleyball player. Ever since his mom bought him the first ball and ever since he saw the kids in his neighborhood playing the game at the local park. Usually kids were fascinated with the spiker, the ace. The one who hits the ball to score the points for the team. But Oikawa wasn’t. Because he had seen the setter’s eyes move briefly, trying to not only analyze the best position for his spiker to hit from, but also the best spot for him to hit on. Something like this seemed like god’s work to him. And it was then that he knew he wanted to become a setter. He didn’t care if someone else took the stage and the glory. All he cared was that he would be the one to build that stage for someone to shine.

Shaking his head, he decided it was time to go back. He fished his phone out once he was outside the court and found there was a message from Hinata.

‘We won two and lost 1. How about you?’

Oikawa laughed. Hinata was keeping a score on how many matches Japan and Argentina would win before their face off in the 5th week. Japan was in 13th pool which meant they were all in Bulgaria for the week and for a second, Oikawa wished he too was with them.

His brain told him he was missing his friends and wished he could see some familiar faces after the humiliating loss. Okay well maybe just one face. But it was familiar. So that would be comforting.

He found some consolation in the fact that next week they’d be in Japan for the final week of the preliminary rounds, facing off three teams, including Japan itself. Oikawa would not only get to see familiar faces but for five days, he would be back home.

And he would win this time for sure.

When they landed in Japan two days later, Oikawa was more than just pleased to see Iwaizumi waiting for him by the main entrance to his building.

Wasn’t Oikawa just thankful for this little treat?

“Long flight?” Iwaizumi asked as he helped Oikawa take his luggage out from the cab.

The setter nodded. “And tiring. How is the training going on with the new kids?”

Iwaizumi sighed as he shut the door to the cab and it drove off. “They’re good. But one of them gets on my nerves. He oddly reminds me of you, you know?”

Oikawa laughed and they walked to the elevator. “You mean he’s a genius?”

Iwaizumi pressed the button on the elevator. “No, he’s just cocky and extremely stupid”

Oikawa scowled. “How long can you stay for?”

Iwaizumi looked at the watch and then back at Oikawa. “About an hour. I need to get back as we have early practice tomorrow”

Oikawa nodded. It was already pretty late and he was thankful that Iwaizumi had showed up even if Oikawa had asked him not to. He couldn’t ask him to stay longer.

One of the perils of being an adult was that the amount of time you spend with your friends, kept reducing with time. There were days when Iwaizumi would come over to his house when they were still in school and they would spend the entire evening talking and playing games and they would get so lost in it all that Oikawa’s mom would have to call Iwaizumi’s mom and inform her that he was spending the night at Oikawa’s. They didn’t have to worry about jobs and responsibilities and what happened the next day. Everything was in the present and Oikawa loved living in the present.

“How come you’re not staying at the hotel with your team?” Iwaizumi asked.

“I didn’t feel like it” Oikawa said and the elevator door opened for them to get in. Usually Oikawa stayed wherever his team was but he had made an exception this time. Last week’s back to back losses had left him a little shaken and he just needed a place he would quietly go to and think without having his teammates worry about him. Oikawa knew if he asked for some time alone, Juan would start stressing if Oikawa was fine and the whole team would bend over backwards to make sure Oikawa was fine. It was touching, but that also meant that the time the team should spend on practicing and devising strategies, would be spent on unnecessary worry.

So Oikawa had just told Juan that he missed home and would like to stay at his apartment for the duration of the visit, promising he would be at the practices and meetings on time.

Juan had agreed.

They reached the apartment and Oikawa immediately popped into the washroom for a quick shower.

“I saw you play last week” Iwaizumi said when Oikawa came out of the shower and his heart sank.

Oikawa had expected at least one loss, but three? He didn’t even know what to say.

He ran his towel over his wet hair and walked over to the couch where Iwaizumi was sitting and took a seat not far from him.

Iwaizumi looked at him carefully. “Your knee’s stiff again, isn’t it?”

Oikawa froze. How did Iwaizumi find out?

He hadn’t told anyone, not even the team physician that his knee had started to ache a little around the fifth set of the final match of the week. He hadn’t even admitted it to himself. So how did Iwaizumi know?

“I saw the match against Russia” Iwaizumi continued. “By the fifth set, you were putting your entire weight on your left leg.”

Any other day and Oikawa would laugh it off. He would turn it into a joke and Iwaizumi would smack him on his head and they would both forget about it, but not today. Oikawa was already drowning in shame from the loss. He wasn’t in the mood for a joke.

Oikawa’s eyes involuntarily moved to his right knee. He wasn’t wearing a brace right now and it wasn’t paining but last week, at the games in Russia, he did feel a little pressure on his right knee and thus, he decided to put more weight on his non-injured left leg.

He didn’t think anyone would notice but Iwaizumi had. And of course he had. Because Iwaizumi was there when Oikawa first got injured. He was there when he was going through recovery and therapy. He was there when Oikawa pushed his own limits after he had recovered and he was there when Oikawa had, for a brief period, thought that his volleyball career was over.

“There was just a slight pain. And that too because we had played all five sets for three straight days. It was an oversight, really.” Oikawa justified. “I should have trained thinking about that possibility. But we were doing so good, none of us had expected to go beyond four sets”

Iwaizumi nodded. It was understandable. But it wasn’t excusable. “You need proper rest”

Oikawa nodded without a fight because he knew what Iwaizumi meant. Being his best friend, Iwaizumi was aware of all of Oikawa’s bad habits. One of which was the fact that he practiced for hours after his team was done for the day and he would keep on going until his body gave out.

But Oikawa also knew that if he needed to win this championship, he first needed to be able to perform because the only thing more humiliating than a loss, was a loss because of his inadequacies.

After Iwaizumi left, Oikawa realized that it was almost 1 am. He was a little hungry because he hated airplane food so he had politely turned that down, thinking he’d be home and go straight to sleep. But he could feel his stomach turn a little. Now he wished he had gone to the hotel instead. He walked to his kitchen, only to realize that there was nothing consumable there. Now he really wished he was with his team.

Tired and worn out from the day, Oikawa decided to go to sleep instead. He could join the team the next day for a heavy breakfast if he slept on time. They had the day off so he could meet up with his team in the morning and go with them to the indoor stadium for the practice matches after breakfast.

An hour later, Oikawa was still very awake and still hungry.

He tossed on his bed, cursing himself that he would waste the entire day tomorrow if he didn’t sleep. But despite his will, he wasn’t able to doze off.

Sighing, he sat up. Maybe he wasn’t tired enough. Usually he worked beyond his limits so the moment he hit his bed, he would be fast asleep. Maybe that’s what he needed to do.

But Iwaizumi had clearly told him to rest.

A work out at this hour would be stupidity. But he could go swimming. That would not only relax his muscles but also get him tired without exerting any pressure on his right knee.

Changing into his swimming trunks and wearing a loose t-shirt over it, Oikawa decided to hit the swimming pool on the 40th floor of his building.

The pool area was pleasantly empty and it was just what Oikawa needed. He took his t-shirt off and dipped his toe in the water. It was warm. He had expected the water to be cold since there was no one else around but if someone had turned the heater, it either meant that they had just left or…

The door to the shower room on Oikawa’s far left suddenly opened and out came Ushijima, in nothing but his short, very short trunks.

Oikawa stared, dumbfounded. What the fuck was Ushijima doing here?

It took him a moment to realize that they were not at his hotel but at his residential building where both lived. It wasn’t so odd after all. Oikawa then thought that Ushijima had followed him but he had clearly arrived before Oikawa so that wasn’t a possibility either.

Could it just be a coincidence?

There were far too many coincidences that Oikawa had faced with Ushijima to conclude that maybe the universe was conspiring against him. Or maybe for him. He wasn’t too sure.

Ushijima seemed to be shocked to have found Oikawa there too. But instead of letting his feelings show on his face, he simply turned away and got into the pool, as far away from Oikawa as the space would allow.

Ushijima was ignoring him, yes, that had been evident when they met at the restaurant, but a part of Oikawa believed that he had been so cold because there were others around. He hadn’t expected Ushijima to ignore him even when they were alone.

And to top that was the hunger inside of Oikawa that wanted Ushijima to talk to him. He wanted Ushijima to approach him first and not the other way around. His ego was too big to compromise first.

If Ushijima wanted to act like Oikawa didn’t exist, then two could play this game.

Oikawa got into the pool on the other corner, as far away from Ushijima and his stupid-cold-perfect face as possible. Oikawa told himself that he was here for a quick swim and not for Ushijima and his ridiculously short trunks or his wet, dripping hair or the way the muscles cut on his arm of the shape of his ass.

 _Shut up!_ Oikawa ordered his brain.

He had come down to the pool to tire himself out physically, not mentally.

Ignoring all the things his brain was telling him, Oikawa decided to do a few laps. It would include swimming towards Ushijima but when Oikawa’s eye found him, he was already swimming without giving any fucks.

Well, Oikawa would give no fucks too.

He pushed himself through the water, feeling the freshness encase his body and he wished he had come a little earlier to enjoy this time alone. As he swam further, he found his worries melting away and his brain freeing itself of all clogs.

When he reached the other end, Oikawa pulled his head out of the water and breathed the fresh air in. Panting, he slowing turned to the other side because he couldn’t help it. His eyes were tracking Ushijima automatically.

But he wasn’t on the opposite end. He was already in the water, swimming back.

Something flared up inside of Oikawa.

The sense of competition came naturally to him. This was precisely why Oikawa always strived to improve his game and his techniques so that he could be better than others could.

But that sense of competition didn’t end there. He was competitive in _everything._

He was hoping for an easy swim. But he would not let Ushijima win this- whatever it was.

Without any delay, Oikawa rushed to swim to the opposite end as well, wanting to finish quicker than Ushijima. He began crawling as fast as he could, flapping his legs behind him with much more force than he should.

It was only when he had reached midway did he stop.

“Fuck” he writhed, panting and standing straight up. His hand reached out to the calf of his right leg. Thank god it was not his knee. It was just a cramp. But it was still painful.

He struggled to drag himself to the edge of the swimming pool and just as he was about to rest his back against the edge, Ushijima surfaced.

“Are you okay?”

So _now_ he wanted to talk?

“Fuck off” Oikawa said in response. It was bad enough that Ushijima was here. He didn’t have to be humiliated further by having him suddenly act like he cared.

“What’s wrong?”

“I said fuck off”

“Oikawa!” Ushijima said sternly and very, very loud like he was asserting his authority on the setter. Oikawa finally looked up.

Ushijima’s jaw was clenched tight, like he was struggling to hold his anger back and for a second, Oikawa wondered what it would be like to see him unleash it. He had never seen Ushijima angry, no one had perhaps. So wasn’t this just the most thrilling sight to watch?

“Just, go away, okay?” Oikawa said, unable to find reasons to yell at Ushijima or cuss at him anymore.

“No!” was all Ushijima said before getting closer.

Oikawa gasped.

“Can you help yourself up?” Ushijima asked.

He would not quit this, would he?

Oikawa nodded and hoisted himself out of the pool until he was sitting on the deck with his legs still in the water.

Ushijima quickly swam to the side he had started from and retrieved a towel for Oikawa.

“Wear this around you or you’ll get sick”

Oikawa didn’t argue or complain. This was basic. Ushijima was right. Oikawa didn’t want his stubbornness get in the way of his game because of a stupid cold. He wrapped the towel around him and Ushijima got even closer.

“Is it your knee?” he asked, placing his fingers lightly under Oikawa’s right leg and letting the water float it a little.

Oikawa felt something weird stirring up inside of him. It was heavy and grappling and it made Oikawa’s brain go numb.

Didn’t Ushijima ask him something? Oikawa recalled and slowly shook his head. “It’s just a cramp” he said.

Ushijima nodded and placed both his hands on Oikawa’s lower leg.

“What are you doing?” Oikawa asked suddenly.

“Massage” Ushijima said. “It will relax the muscles”

Oikawa was embarrassed as it was. “You don’t have to”

“Your muscles will ache tomorrow if you don’t get it massaged immediately”

“I can do it on my own” Oikawa said, pulling his leg back but it was as good as being paralyzed, except that it was hurting like hell.

Ushijima did not heed Oikawa’s words. Instead, he began rubbing the insides of Oikawa’s legs with his fingers.

Oikawa turned his eyes away. This was twice now that Ushijima had seem him so vulnerable. Oikawa hated this. He hated being at someone’s mercy because people always got back at you with what they had done for you. People always liked to count debts others owed them and Oikawa hated being under any debts.

But if there was anything that Oikawa had realized in the past few months was that Ushijima was not like that. Oikawa had to admit that for the first few days after that night in his washroom, Oikawa was scared that Ushijima would run his mouth, telling his team and his friends of how Oikawa had acted that night. He had expected the word to spread and reach the people he knew, his team, his friends because this was a small community and everyone knew everyone else so there was no stopping a gossip that was once out. Oikawa had been holed up in his room for hours, wondering how he would face everyone when they found out how he had been at Ushijima’s mercy that night.

But nothing happened. It either meant that Ushijima hadn’t told anyone or that he had friends who knew how to keep a secret. But knowing Tendou personally, the former seemed correct.

When that had settled, Oikawa had gone down another rabbit hole. Maybe Ushijima hadn’t told anyone because he was embarrassed that it was Oikawa of all people that he had gotten himself involved with. And this thought had spiraled back and forth until Oikawa had said those unfortunate words when they met by the elevator.

“It is any better?” Ushijima asked, tearing Oikawa away from his thoughts. “Is it still paining?”

Oikawa couldn’t help but look at Ushijima. What was he even thinking about? Ushijima didn’t look embarrassed or ashamed. Oikawa didn’t know what he’d find in those dark eyes, but he had definitely not expected to find genuine concern.

He shook his head slowly. “No, it’s not paining anymore”

Ushijima continued to massage his leg a little longer and Oikawa for the life of him, couldn’t take his eyes off.

Once Ushijima was done, he let his leg go. “Can you stand up?”

Oikawa pulled his legs out of the water and stood up. “Yeah, not a problem”

“Can you walk?”

Oikawa took a few steps. There was a residual pain from the cramp but nothing that a few hours of rest wouldn’t fix.

Oikawa walked over to where his t-shirt laid hanging and picked it up. He could shower at his place so he decided to leave.

Ushijima quickly jumped out of the pool and Oikawa faced him.

“Thank you” Oikawa said, not sure what else he could say. “If it weren’t for you, I would have been in a very bad form”

Ushijima looked at him for a few seconds before answering. “If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have had a cramp in the first place”

Oikawa blinked. So he too was competing with Oikawa the way Oikawa was competing with him?

Suddenly, Oikawa laughed, releasing all tension from the air. “That was really stupid, wasn’t it?”

Ushijima couldn’t help but smile back. “Yes it was”

Oikawa was about to turn and leave when suddenly his stomach roared with a deafening growl.

He tried to cover his stomach with his hands like that would stop the noise.

“Wait here” Ushijima said and rushed to where his clothes were and came back with what looked like a keycard.

He handed it to Oikawa and Oikawa stared at the black card. “Are you giving me your card so I can buy food?” he asked, perplexed. “You know I am rich, right?”

Ushijima shook his head. “It’s the keycard to my apartment.”

Oikawa’s mind first ran on a very wrong track. “Why do you have a card? Didn’t your door have electronic keypad?” he asked before he could realize that he had no way of answering how he knew that information.

“I did. But a couple of month ago while I was in Kyoto, I got a security alert that someone was trying to get in”

_Fuck!_

Oikawa felt like he had been caught red-handed.

“I think it was some stalker” Ushijima said and how had the tables turned.

Not long ago Oikawa had accused Ushijima of being a stalker and now he was calling Oikawa a stalker too. Except that he wasn’t aware it was Oikawa he was talking about.

Oikawa shook his head and brought himself back to the conversation. He still wasn't sure why Ushijima was giving him the keycard to his apartment. Wait… did he think…

His confusion must have been evident on his face because Ushijima cleared all his doubts.

“Go in and take a shower. I’ll be back after I wash up here and cook you something”

Oikawa’s brain short-circuited. There were so many words and so many sentences that Ushijima had said and all the meanings that they contained that his brain wasn’t able to make sense of any of it.

“Wh… what?” Oikawa asked, sounding dumb to himself.

“Take a shower. I’ll prepare something quick for you to eat”

“Why?”

“It’s fine if you don’t want to” Ushijima said, pulling his hand back but Oikawa’s grabbed the card, the tips of his fingers brushing against Ushijima.

His hunger had gotten the better of him but he did not care. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep with an empty stomach anyway.

Oikawa entered Ushijima’s apartment to be oddly surprised by the décor. It was perfect and spotless but it was too perfect and too spotless. Like the place had been staged for an open house. He would have liked to explore the place but he was afraid Ushijima would find him sneaking around so he stopped himself. Finding the door to the washroom, Oikawa quickly hopped into the shower and let all the chemicals from the pool water wash away. It was only when he stepped out, did he realize that he didn’t have a fresh pair of clothes to wear.

Just then, he heard a knock on the washroom door and his heart skipped a beat.

 _Fuck! Calm down!_ He told himself.

Ushijima turned the knob and opened the door and Oikawa was ready to yell when his hand surfaced with a t-shirt and a pair of trousers.

“I figured you’d need these” was all Ushijima said from behind the door and Oikawa gladly took the clothes from him.

“Thanks” Oikawa said and Ushijima closed the door back again.

Once he was all dressed up, Oikawa walked out in Ushijima’s oversized white t-shirt and a pair of black track pants which loosely hung on his waist.

Oikawa went straight to the living room and Ushijima turned around from the kitchen and looked at him for a brief moment before asking him to take a seat.

Oikawa did. He nervously sat down and sunk in the exhilarating sight of Ushijima’s back to him as he worked in the kitchen, his muscles flexing as he diced the vegetables and his apron framing his body tight.

Oikawa had half a mind to walk right over and watch him work live.

But he shook himself out of that thought.

He didn’t even know what he was thinking and why. In fact, he didn’t have time to think about Ushijima or that night at the restaurant after they had separated. Oikawa had become too busy in the games and they were in different countries for an entire month so there was no time or occasion for Oikawa to dwell on the emotions he’d felt that night.

But that didn’t mean those emotions weren’t still there. They had just been dormant. Until he had seen Ushijima again by the pool.

Oikawa would have dived into those thoughts once more but Ushijima surfaced, carrying two bowls with him.

He handed one to Oikawa and he took it gladly. He didn’t know what it was that Ushijima had cooked but it tasted amazing and before they had even properly settled, Oikawa had already cleaned his bowl.

“Sorry” he said apologetically when he saw Ushijima wasn’t even halfway done with his. “I was just… very hungry. Long flight and I hate airplane food so I just… couldn’t control”

Ushijima tried to hide his smile but it was impossible. “Do you want some more?”

 _No,_ Oikawa wanted to say but his head was already nodding. Ushijima quickly rushed to the kitchen and brought the whole pot over. Oikawa helped himself to a second serving, this time, eating slow.

Midway through the food, Oikawa enquired about the stew and Ushijima told him it was something he made with whatever ingredients he could find. And it told Oikawa only one thing. Ushijima was one hell of a cook while Oikawa didn’t even know how to boil eggs.

It was almost 3 am and Oikawa lay sprawled on the couch, hands on his stomach and legs stretched out to the floor. “I think I ate too much”

“You think?”

Oikawa kicked Ushijima playfully on his leg. “Fuck off” he said and for the first time, he didn’t mean it.

Ushijima sat with his head rested on his hand against the backrest of the couch.

Oikawa eyes were glued to the ceiling of the room so he didn’t see the way Ushijima’s eyes were fixed on him.

“You know” Oikawa began, “I won’t go easy on you just because you fed me”

Ushijima gave out a very husky laugh and Oikawa surprised himself at how he found Ushijima’a laugh incredibly sexy. He finally averted his eyes from the ceiling and looked at him.

Oikawa’s heart palpitated under Ushijima’s t-shirt. He swallowed and noticed how Ushijima’s eyes traveled from Oikawa's face to the bobbing of his adam’s apple.

“I won’t go easy on you either” Ushijima whispered and Oikawa didn’t fucking know what he meant by that because he so wanted it to mean what his mind was telling him it meant.

But suddenly, he was reminded of the last time something had happened and how it ended up in destroying every tiny thing, even the threads of hate they had between them. And Oikawa had hated it because even if that tiny thread was hate, it was something that kept them connected. But Oikawa’s impulse and his stupidity and severed even that.

He sat straight and turned to face Ushijima completely.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” he asked, point blank.

This was it. There was no going back from here now.

Ushijima blinked and sat up straight himself. “I…” he began, “I thought you didn’t want me around. After…”

Oikawa closed his eyes. Fuck, this was embarrassing. But he had already come this far. There was no point in going back.

“Then why did you help me tonight? You could have just avoided me like you’ve been doing so far”

Oikawa had expected Ushijima to say that he felt sorry for Oikawa or something in those lines, but boy was he wrong.

Ushijima smiled at him and damn that smile!

Ushijima turned around to imitate Oikawa and how he had been resting on the couch a few minutes ago, his eyes on the ceiling, hands behind his head.

“Because I want you at your best when I beat you at the match”

Oikawa couldn’t help but laugh at this.

He shook his head at Ushijima. “Asshole!” he said with a grin and Ushijima could hear the delight in Oikawa’s voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did this take me 6 hours to write? 😭😭😭😭  
> Pls I just hope this chapter is as good as I wanted it to be 😭😭😭  
> Bye I will sleep for an indefinite amount to time now!


	6. Tooru Oikawa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I swear I read this twice after I finished writing but my brain is dead so there WILL be typos. I am sorry in advance 😭  
> Please bear with me... thanks 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭  
> ILY!

Things were… unexpected.

Ushijima hadn’t thought there would ever come a time when he would form an unlikely friendship with Oikawa, ever. After years of hostility and that night, Ushijima had convinced himself that whatever was left between them, had been severed so bad that it couldn’t be salvaged anymore.

But then they had met at the restaurant, and Ushijima felt the residue of something burning between them that only kept getting stronger. When Oikawa had ducked Hinata’s hit and when Ushijima involuntarily found himself supporting Oikawa, he swore he felt his pulses rising. He had been brave enough to let his hand rest on Oikawa’s back a little longer than he needed to. He told himself it was just to make sure Oikawa was fine, but the truth was, the touch felt magnetic and Ushijima wanted to hold on for as long as he could. He only withdrew because he knew Oikawa would hate it.

Ushijima had let himself forget about that dinner and the way he felt a bolt run through his body each time Oikawa’s arm brushed against his, but then, he saw him again by the pool.

And god was he a sight to watch.

Only Ushijima knew the strength it took to not just fuck it all and take Oikawa’s mouth in his until he cried his name out.

But what good would that do?

Oikawa would tell him it was a mistake and he would feel the words stab him in the chest again.

So he did the only thing he thought was best for the both of them- ignore Oikawa.

When Ushijima had heard Oikawa cry out, his heart dropped, thinking Oikawa had hurt himself. Before he could even think, his body was already swimming towards him. And before he could stop himself, he was already asking Oikawa if he was fine.

Oikawa had asked him to fuck off.

He would not. Not like this, not when Oikawa was clearly in pain.

A strange relief had washed over Ushijima when Oikawa told him it was just a cramp, not his knee.

Oikawa was reluctant at first but had soon given in to the help Ushijima was freely offering. He remembered being careful with Oikawa’s leg. It was the leg he had already injured back in school and Ushijima knew he had to be cautious in dealing with it.

Ushijima remembered how delicate and soft Oikawa’s skin felt under his own rough hands. He was scared for a brief period that he might leave a scar but the water had helped in his slow movements as he caressed Oikawa’s leg.

He wished he could do so much more.

Ushijima hadn’t expected Oikawa to agree into going to his apartment but when he grabbed the key, Ushijima walked back to the shower with the biggest smile on his face.

And when Oikawa had walked out of the shower in his apartment, wearing his t-shirt that was obviously too big for him, Ushijima had to stop himself from rushing over and pushing him against the couch before taking the t-shirt right off and exploring his body with his mouth.

Instead, he had just stared at him, breathless, until he came back to real life and asked Oikawa to take a seat.

There was something between then, something undeniable and engorging and raw and wild and no matter how many time Ushijima convinced himself that it was just the lack of closure of that night, he always ended up craving for more.

Oikawa felt it too. Ushijima knew he did because he had felt the need pulsating from him like ripples on still water. He knew he had seen that need in Oikawa’s eyes, the need to take Ushijima for all he was because goddamnit Ushijima felt that need too.

Every single day!

The night had ended with Oikawa leaving with a smile, the first of many, Ushijima hoped. And then the week had passed with Argentina winning two out of the three matches of the 5th week pool and Japan winning three of the three matches. Argentina losing to only Japan in the final week.

Then there were the final rounds and both Ushijima and Oikawa had forgotten about everything else because it was now or never.

Fighting with everything that they had, both teams had first cleared the quarterfinals and then the semifinals and then, faced each other off at the finals.

Argentina won, making Japan the runner up.

Ushijima presumed he’d be a little pissed but he was surprised at himself at how well he was taking this. First, Japan had already performed well as compared to last year when they had been eliminated at the prelims, and second, was that gorgeous smile that Oikawa wore on his face when his team had won. Ushijima could have sworn it was sun in all its glory that stood there, sinking in the feeling of a win that was long overdue.

How could he ever be pissed at such a mesmerizing sight?

When they had taken rounds, shaking their hands with the players from the opposing team, Oikawa let his hand rest in Ushijima’s a little longer than other players, looking him straight in the eye with that smile on his face that had brutally put the fucking sun to shame. They were only separated by the net between them and Ushijima wanted to tear it apart just to take a better look at Oikawa’s face and that pretty smile.

That night, after the match, they decided to go clubbing.

The finals were held in Lille, France and Bokuto had suggested they all go to a club to celebrate the fact that they had reached the finals this year. He had even invited Oikawa and Oikawa agreed. He said he’d meet everyone there by 11 pm after he was done partying with his team and Ushijima was sitting at a private booth alone, drinking cranberry juice while the others were on the dance floor. He looked at his watch.

11.31 pm.

Oikawa was still not here.

Just then, Miya emerged from the dance floor and hopped on the seat next to Oikawa. It was dark inside the club but Ushijima could still figure out who it was. Miya breathed heavily from having danced for too long and grabbed the whiskey he’d ordered before taking a tiny sip.

He said something but Ushijima couldn’t hear a thing over the blasting music that was drowning even his thoughts.

Miya leaned in. “Come to the dance floor” he said and pulled himself back until his ear was next to Ushijima’s lips.

“I can’t dance, Tsumu” Ushijima confessed. It was not modesty. It was just a fact. Tendou had taken him to one of the clubs back home where Semi and his band had a performance once and Ushijima had embarrassed himself pretty bad. Him and rhythm weren’t on very good terms.

Miya sighed and turned around till his head was on Ushijima’s shoulders and he leaned back. He did that, a lot. Miya was very physical and it was not like anyone minded. He would usually hug Hinata from behind, resting his head on top of Hinata’s head during meetings sometimes. He would suddenly find Bokuto and hug him from the side, resting his chin on his shoulder after practices, or grab Kageyama by the arms or tug on his t-shirt for no reason. The only person he was not allowed to touch was Sakusa but that was understandable because Sakusa was a germaphobe and wouldn’t let even the doctors touch him. Miya needed physical affection and everyone in the team indulged because there literally was nothing behind it. He liked staying connected to people he trusted.

“Why aren’t you drinking?” Miya asked, tilting his head up so Ushijima could hear him properly.

“I don’t want to.” Ushijima said and that was that. You couldn’t make Ushijima do what he didn’t want. No one could.

Miya rocked his head to the music, still resting on Ushijima’s shoulders when something in the shadows moved and suddenly, Oikawa was there, standing in front of him.

Oikawa eye’s fell on Miya and then at Ushijima and then at Miya once more. He felt something weird inside of him. Something he had never felt before. It felt yellow.

“Oikawa” Miya suddenly yelled and jumped off Ushijima shoulders before launching towards Oikawa with a hug. “I missed you”

That feeling, whatever it was that Oikawa had left, melted away almost immediately. He laughed. “Did you now?”

Miya nodded. “Want to dance?” he asked, taking another sip of his whiskey.

“Maybe in a while. I want to sit for a minute or two”

“Do you want something to drink?”

“Just something light, non-alcoholic”

With that, Miya left and Oikawa took a seat next to Ushijima because sitting somewhere else in that large booth was stupid, especially with the loud music when he would still have to scoot closer to talk to Ushijima.

Oikawa took his jacket off and looked at the crowd. He spotted Hinata and Kageyama as the latter stood stiff on the floor while Hinata danced the fuck out of the music right in front of him. Bokuto was there too and one by one, Oikawa stopped the entire team. Except maybe Sakusa.

“Where is Omi?” Oikawa asked loudly, not wanting to lean close to Ushijima for some reason.

Ushijima shook his head. “Crowd… sweat… nightmare” was all he said and Oikawa understood.

Oikawa’s drink arrived in a tall fancy glass that he sniffed first to check and then took a sip. Once he confirmed there was no alcohol in it, he gulped half of it down in one go.

Ushijima stared blankly. He was still on his first serve of cranberry juice and it wasn’t even half way done in the thirty minutes that he had been in the club.

‘Sorry’ Oikawa mouthed, soundlessly. ‘Thirsty’ and went back to looking at the dance floor. Hinata waved at him from a distance and Oikawa waved back.

“Not going to dance?” Oikawa asked, turning to Ushijima, only to find him staring at him.

Something shifted inside Oikawa’s chest.

Ushijima shook his head, eyes still on Oikawa.

Oikawa cleared his throat. “Okay, I’ll be right back” he said and rushed out as fast as he could.

Ushijima’s eyes followed Oikawa as he found his way to the middle of the dance floor, moving across the people huddled close to each other. It was still quite dark and Ushijima had to focus if he wanted to spot Oikawa clearly but every once in a while, a ray of light rotating randomly from the ceiling would fall on him, making his stand out brighter than everyone else.

Ushijima wished the light would stay on Oikawa a little longer.

A fresh round of drinks arrived on his table which was all either whiskey or beer, except his own cranberry juice. The waiter cleared the table of the empty glasses before serving up fresh once and for that brief period, Ushijima lost Oikawa in the crowd.

He suddenly stood up. The booths were a few feet higher than the dance floor so he was sure he would be able to see where Oikawa was if he had the advantage of height.

Soon Ushijima found Oikawa again. Then he wished he hadn’t.

Oikawa was dancing with someone, some random guy Ushijima didn’t know or care to find out about. Oikawa swayed his hips with the music, his eyes closed, hands in the air. That was until the guy he was dancing with, grabbed Oikawa by his ass and pulled him closer. Oikawa rested his hands on the guy’s chest before putting it around his neck, indulging in everything the guy wanted from him.

Ushijima sat back down.

Instead of grabbing his juice, he picked up one of the whiskey glasses and downed it in one go.

The whiskey burned against his throat as he swallowed, the bittersweet taste lingering on his tongue. He hated alcohol. He hated how foul it tasted. But something told him that he needed one right now.

At first, Ushijima tried not to think about it. He didn’t care who Oikawa was with. Ushijima gave no fucks about what he was doing with that guy and he was pretty sure Oikawa would give no fucks if someone was grinding themselves up against Ushijima on the dance floor either.

He emptied another glass of whiskey.

There was nothing that had been set between them, hell, Ushijima wasn’t even sure they could qualify even as friends, so why couldn’t he get the image of that guy’s hands on Oikawa’s ass out of his mind?

Ushijima knew he could feel the embers of jealously burning inside of him but he didn’t know if he was allowed to feel that. He didn’t know if he had any right.

He grabbed another glass but this time, drank it slowly, his mind running at a thousand miles per hour. He didn’t care. He wanted to act cool. He wanted to show him that it didn’t bother him. He wanted to show Oikawa that Ushijima was indifferent to him. He wanted to walk down to the dance floor and grab Oikawa and pull him away from that stranger. He wanted to push Oikawa against that wall and claim his mouth for everyone in the club to see that none of them were allowed to touch Oikawa.

He wanted to burn this place to the ground.

Before he knew it, Ushijima was already pushing through the crowd and striding towards where Oikawa was.

He stormed through the packed space, feeling many bodies and their sweat rub against his arms. He heard his name being called out by someone but didn’t care. He would walk up to Oikawa and yank him away from that creep. Ushijima couldn’t bring himself to think of someone else looking at Oikawa like that, touching him like that.

“Ushiwaka” he heard and suddenly, Miya was in front of him, his hand on Ushijima’s chest. “You finally came”

Ushijima tilted his head. Oikawa was not far from where he was standing, probably a couple of feet away. If Miya got out of his way, he could easily take Oikawa’s hand in his and drag him out of the dance floor.

“Let’s dance” Miya said and Ushijima looked at him. He was drunk, more drunk than he should have been. “Come on… Ushiwaka”

His speech was starting to get slurry and Ushijima was afraid he would pass out on the dance floor. He looked around and spotted Bokuto. Directing Miya to him, Ushijima asked Bokuto to take him back to the booth and to keep an eye on him until Ushijima returned.

Bokuto nodded and took over Miya immediately.

Ushijima turned to find Oikawa again but this time, he lost him. Ushijima circled around the dance floor, in hopes of finding the setter but he was nowhere to be seen.

His brain stopped working.

What if he had already left the club with that stranger?

Ushijima was ready to storm out of the club himself, in hopes of catching up with them when his eye noticed the familiar make of Oikawa standing in one of the corners of the club.

Ushijima walked closer.

Oikawa’s back was to him but then he turned.

And Ushijima saw that he was kissing that guy he was dancing earlier with. The guy pushed him against the wall and Oikawa grabbed him by his hair.

For a second, Oikawa’s eyes fluttered open and he found Ushijima standing right in front of him, staring at him unmoved, his hands curled into tight fists by his side.

Oikawa felt like he had been exposed to a volcano. But for some unknown reason, Oikawa didn’t stop. Or move away.

Closing his eyes again, Oikawa got back to kissing the guy he had just met. After a few seconds, Oikawa opened his eyes once more but this time, Ushijima wasn’t there.

Oikawa felt sick.

“Get off” Oikawa said and the guy pulled his head up.

He laughed. “What?”

“I said get off”

“You’re kidding me, right?” he asked and leaned in to kiss Oikawa again.

Oikawa pushed him away this time. The strange man, whose name Oikawa hadn’t even bothered learning, said something, rather yelled but Oikawa didn’t pay attention. He walked out of the club as silently as he had entered.

Oikawa stumbled back to his room, feeling sicker than he did when he had found Ushijima gone. He knew he had seen something strange in Ushijima’s eyes when he found Oikawa kissing that guy and Oikawa knew he should have stopped right away but he pushed that tiny voice aside. Because he had something else in mind.

He believed he was just sexually frustrated and just needed to let it all out with some stranger where there were no strings attached and they wouldn’t have to come across each other again. It was an attempt, a failed one nonetheless, but still an attempt to get Ushijima out of his system.

So then, why did he stop kissing that guy at the club? Shouldn’t he have continued instead? Wasn’t that the plan? To find someone for the night and get all these pent up feelings out? To let someone fuck him until dawn so he could stop thinking about having sex with Ushijima instead?

When he has seen Ushijima sitting there at the booth with Miya’s head on his shoulder, Oikawa wanted to kill someone. That burning yellow thing that he felt had consumed him completely.

That was why he had allowed himself the comfort of a stranger on the dance floor because he knew he needed to rid himself of everything Ushijima. It wasn’t like he came to this conclusion on a whim. He had thought about it a lot since he left Ushijima’s apartment that night. Of each and every possibility and the repercussions of him wanting to be with that giant spiker. But none of the possibilities seemed favorable. If he were to jump off that cliff and take a risk, it would be no time before others found out. Then the press would get a whiff and they would write articles and stories on the two of them which would not only be bad, but also disastrous.

They were the national players of two different countries. Which meant that they faced each other off more than once a year. It also meant every win and every loss would be scrutinized more than it should. People would begin to read the blank spaces between the lines, creating stories of their own. Did one team lose because they let the other team win? Did one team win because the other went soft on them? Are Ushijima and Oikawa even fit to play each other considering their involvements off courts?

No win would feel worthy. No loss would make him feel like he needed to try harder to win.

Oikawa wouldn’t let either of their hard work and talent be discredited like that.

Oikawa liked the thrill of danger, and the idea of starting something, anything with Ushijima was exhilarating, but not at the expense of their respective careers.

This is what he had told himself for a few days now before finally walking down to the dance floor and letting a stranger stick his tongue down his throat.

Oikawa had expected it to go smoothly. He had slept with a lot of people before. Okay so like three people but he had kissed at least seven separate guys. And it was not because he didn’t have game, but because he didn’t have the time. So it was not like it was a big deal for him to find someone on the dance floor and take him to his hotel room for the night.

Then why had he been bothered so much by the look in Ushijima’s eyes like Oikawa had hurt him or something? And why did that look start an ache in his own heart?

Oikawa pushed through the door to his room and crashed on the bed, his back to the mattress.

It wasn’t even 1 am yet and his team was still out partying.

How he wished he could have found someone to spend the night with so that he could be fucked until there were no traces of Ushijima left inside of him.

But that plan had crashed and burned, thanks to the very person he wanted to get rid of.

Sighing, Oikawa turned to this side and switched the TV on. He wasn’t sleepy nor did he have anything else to do. So he decided to distract himself.

He switched to NEWS and the first thing that came up were snippets of the match they had just won. Oikawa sat up and saw his team being featured with bits of interview from Juan and Oikawa.

He smiled and patted himself on the back because he looked pretty good on TV.

The smile washed off when the NEWS cut to Japan and suddenly, Ushijima was on the screen.

 _Fuck!_ Oikawa thought. There was no way to escape him, was there?

Ushijima was with a reporter in an interview, and he was talking about Japan’s performance as compared to last year. His voice was deep and settled and how Oikawa wished for him to call his name out.

And then he did.

The reporter asked him who the toughest player in the Argentinian team was that Ushijima considered a threat.

“Tooru Oikawa”

Oikawa blinked at the screen as something heavy rose inside of him. It was ridiculous. Ushijima had only just said his name. It was two simple words Oikawa had heard all his life. Two words that had been used and overused and sometimes turned into ridicule by his best friend. Then why did it sound so different, coming from Ushijima? So pure and so enchanting? And why did it have such a devastating effect on his resolve?

Oikawa couldn’t help but wonder what his name would sound like, coming from Ushijima as he fucked him raw.

_Fuck!_

Oikawa needed a drink. He needed sex. Needed someone to fuck him all night long until he felt he couldn’t take it anymore. Until he couldn’t think about anything else. Oikawa needed to feel the sweat and heat pressing against his body until he fell asleep, exhausted and spent. And he needed Ushijima to do it to him.


	7. You're amazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to [ Choccyghost ](/users/Choccyghost/) for proofreading this chapter for me! You're the best!!!!! <3
> 
> Check out her adorable Kagehina fics ya'll!!!!

Oikawa loved Italy. He loved the architecture, the food, the old city paved with cobblestones, walking through those streets and finding people chatting merrily as they sat on the small tables and chairs by the sidewalks. But he loved the Tuscan sun the most. He didn’t know why but the sun in Italy always seemed different than any other place on earth. The soft hues that painted the sky and the tinge that fell on the world around him was always a shade to Oikawa’s liking.

Oikawa had a good feeling about being here. Something told him that good things were in store.

It was time for the Volleyball Men’s World Championship and Argentina was already in the seeded pool for the first round. But the competition would be more fierce because there were 24 countries participating this year.

Oikawa looked at the schedules of only two countries on his phone.

Italy and Bulgaria were co-hosting the event and since Argentina was in Pool D and Japan in Pool C for the first round, Japan had played the first round in Italy while Argentina had played in Bulgaria.

It was the second round now and Japan was in Pool F, playing in Varna, Bulgaria while Argentina was in Pool H, playing in Bologna, Italy. Japan had a match today and Argentina the next.

“Come on Oikawa” Juan’s voice reached him from across the court. “Time for warm up”

Oikawa nodded and for a very tiny fraction of second, wanted to text Ushijima and wish him luck for his match today. He then shook his head. They weren’t on texting terms, they weren’t even on talking terms since that night at the club three months ago.

He didn’t even have Ushijima’s number for fuck sake.

“Ah fuck!” Oikawa exclaimed to himself because why the fuck did he not have Ushijima’s number? It was not like he would call him or something. But he didn’t like that the option to decide had been taken away from him suddenly.

 _Whose fault is that?_ A tiny voice said inside Oikawa’s brain.

Oikawa ignored it.

He still moved to the messenger because now he really wanted to wish someone luck.

 _‘ **All the best** ’_ he sent.

 _‘ **What the fuck you on about?** ’_ was the first reply.

_‘ **Did you hit your head or something?’**_

_‘ **Do you want me to book you a room at the loony bin?’**_

Oikawa texted back. ‘ _ **Shut the fuck up, Hajime** ’_

He received a reply immediately. _‘ **Second round starts tomorrow?** ’_

Oikawa- _‘ **Yes** ’_

Iwaizumi- _‘ **Don’t lose or imma break your legs** ’_

Oikawa laughed. _‘ **I will try… not because I want to win but because I love my legs** ’_

Iwaizumi- _‘ **Umhmm… keep telling yourself that. All the best’**_

Oikawa kept his phone back inside his bag, feeling much better than he did a few minutes ago.

The second rounds went smoothly for both teams. They were among the top 6 players of the tournament, seamlessly promoting themselves to the third round. And they were finally in the same country, the same city- Turin.

It was only when Oikawa went back to his hotel after his practice before the next day’s match, did he find out that Japan was also staying at the same hotel where Argentina was.

“Oikawa” was what he first heard before a very energetic Hinata came running towards the setter. “Are you staying here too?”

Oikawa smiled at him and nodded. It was so good to see Hinata’s smiling face.

“Which floor are you on?”

“Eight” Oikawa said.

“Whoa we’re on the seventh. Come over, we’ll do a sleepover!”

Kageyama surfaced behind Hinata and pulled him by his hoodie. “He has a match tomorrow and there is no sleepover happening in my room”

Hinata tilted his head and looked behind Kageyama. “Tsumu, tell your roommate he’s switching rooms with me. I am not staying with Kageyama any longer”

Miya said something from the lobby and Oikawa's eyes quickly scanned the area. There were a few players from Japan hanging around, some from Argentina too. But the one he was looking for, wasn’t there.

“Shut the fuck up.” Kageyama said and brought Oikawa’s attention back to them.

“If I leave you unsupervised,” Kageyama said to Hinata, “you will end up staying awake all night because of all the sugar rush from all the chocolates you will eat behind my back. Now go help Atsumu with the luggage”

Hinata growled at Kageyama in anger.

“Please?” Kageyama added and Hinata walked away, still very angry.

Oikawa laughed and shook his head. “The bicker’s still going on, huh?”

Kageyama waved his hand nonchalantly like it was a usual thing. “I met Iwaizumi last month”

Oikawa waited for more because Kageyama wouldn’t mention Iwaizumi unless it was important.

“He asked me to bring you some medicinal herbs” Kageyama continued. “Is… is your knee okay?”

Oikawa smiled at him. “Yes, it’s fine. Hajime just likes to worry unnecessarily. You know that”

Kageyama silently nodded as they walked to the elevator.

Oikawa pressed the button and the door opened. He got in while Kageyama stood outside.

“I will bring you the herbs once I settle into my room”

Oikawa thanked him for that and pressed the button for the eight floor.

The door was about to close back when Kageyama’s hand stopped it.

“Oikawa” he said and Oikawa felt like something dreadful was about to fall on him. “You need to learn to rest”

“I do rest”

“Not like this” Kageyama said. “You need to know when to stop. I never thought I would be the one to say this but practice isn’t everything. And I learned that from our match against Kamomedai at the Japan nationals”

Oikawa blinked. “You mean… Hinata?”

Kageyama nodded. “I was so blinded by my obsession to win that I ignored all the obvious signs he exhibited. You can’t win if you are not there to play and I learned it the hard way”

With that, Kageyama let the doors go and it closed, leaving Oikawa to think hard about what Kageyama had just said.

Maybe Kageyama was right and maybe Oikawa was being too hard on himself. But the fact was, his knee was fine. Yes it had acted a little up a few months ago but Iwaizumi liked to go overboard when he was even slightly worried. 

Oikawa decided to go to bed after Kageyama brought him the herbs Iwaizumi had sent and when Kageyama had knocked on his door, a part of Oikawa wanted it to be Ushijima standing there instead.

But Oikawa called himself stupid for even thinking that.

He hadn’t seen Ushijima since that night at the club and not even when his entire team was down at the lobby, checking themselves in. A part of him had been relieved that he wasn’t there but a bigger part, the part that crushed all his rationality, had sunk in disappointment.

Oikawa wondered where Ushijima was right now. Was he in his room? Or was he out walking down the streets of Turin? This was a beautiful city to explore after nights out and Oikawa wished he were out too. But he didn’t have the same luxury as others since his match was tomorrow and he needed to go to sleep.

He tossed back and forth on his bed. Ushijima was so close. Just a floor below him and yet Oikawa felt like they were separated by thousands of miles between them. He wondered what Ushijima would say, or how he would react if Oikawa were to walk down to his room and knock in the middle of the night.

But Oikawa didn’t know which room Ushijima was in and thank god for that because one of his feet was already out of the bed.

He sighed and rolled back into the sheets. It was almost a year since that night inside Oikawa’s apartment. He had gotten over losses at the games quicker than this. So why was it so difficult for him to get Ushijima out of his mind?

Why was he constantly thinking about him and wondering if he was thinking about Oikawa too?

This was torture.

This was exactly why Oikawa didn’t like getting involved with anyone much. The two relationships had been easy because he thought of them as something extra apart from his volleyball. But then came Ushijima and suddenly, Oikawa’s life had turned upside down.

Ushijima was every waking thought in Oikawa’s life. Every. Single. Day!

Oikawa looked at the time. It was a little after 11 pm. Maybe if he walked around the hotel for a while he’d be able to spot Ushijima. Maybe he’d walk up to him and offer to talk. Maybe he’d ask him why he looked so angry back at the club three months ago. Maybe he’d ask if Ushijima would like to kiss him!

_Fuck!_

Oikawa shook his head and closed his eyes. They would clash at the courts in four days anyway.

Next day, after Argentina won the first match of the second round, he found out from Hinata that Sakusa and Ushijima weren’t staying at this hotel but at a more premium one down the street. Someone from Japan’s national team staff had made an error while booking the rooms so they were shifted to a nearby one on short notice.

Ushijima was the only one Sakusa ever agreed to share the room with so he went there too.

Oikawa walked to his room feeling more grim than ever.

Argentina won the match against Japan in the final game of the second round and Oikawa didn’t know how. He was distracted. And he hadn’t played his best. Thanks to his team, they had been able to win though.

Oikawa cursed himself at letting something, someone get in the way of his game but no matter how many times he had tried to not care, his eyes always found Ushijima standing on the opposite side. And the fact that Ushijima hadn’t looked at him even once, made Oikawa angrier.

He was on edge during the entire time but it had somehow led to their win.

When they stood opposite of each other in a line, moving in rounds to shake hands with everyone, Ushijima skipped Oikawa.

And it stung.

Oikawa found himself walking back to his side of the court with a heavy heart.

Argentina lost to Serbia in the semi-finals while Japan went on to the finals to play against Serbia. Argentina would now play against Poland to fight for the third place.

The loss against Serbia was unexpected because Oikawa knew he had gone beyond his limits and so had his team. But the loss felt worthy because Serbia was a very, very strong team and they hadn’t lost a single match in the tournament yet. So Oikawa didn’t beat himself up when they didn’t move to the finals. Instead, he was already thinking about strategies to beat Serbia in the next tournament.

Walking back to his hotel, his team walking forward and Oikawa far behind them, Oikawa analyzed the game they had lost a few hours ago.

 _We need to expand our blocks_ , he thought because Serbia had broken through most of their blocks easily. He was still lost in his thoughts and still a few feet away from the hotel entrance when he spotted someone.

Oikawa froze.

Walking out, all by himself, was Ushijima.

He was probably going back to his hotel.

Oikawa found himself rushing towards him without even thinking about it first.

“Ushijima” Oikawa yelled and the spiker slowly turned around.

It was an empty street, illuminated by the streetlights and they were the only two people standing there.

Ushijima waited for Oikawa to speak and suddenly, Oikawa didn’t know what to say. It was not like he had planned to encounter Ushijima or practiced their conversation by himself when he was alone in his room and unable to sleep. Yep, that had never happened.

“Congratulations” Oikawa said first. Yes, that sounded right. Congratulations was always a good conversation starter. Ushijima would thank him and Oikawa would then ask about other stupid things and then they would go back to talking to each other. At least that was how it had played out in his mock-conversation back at the hotel last night.

Except, Ushijima didn’t say anything.

Oikawa was at a complete loss. But he tried nonetheless. “You played well” he said and immediately faltered. “I mean you as in your team. Not you specifically. Not that you as a player don’t play well. You do, you’re amazing but your team was like… wow. You know? Hinata and Kageyama have improved their quicks and added so many variations that you never know which one’s going to hit you when.”

Oikawa breathed. What the fuck did he just say? He had half a mind to call Iwaizumi and take him up on his offer to get himself checked into a mental facility.

Ushijima was still very silent and it didn’t seem like he wanted to talk to Oikawa at all.

 _Stupid, stupid stupid!_ Oikawa cussed in his mind.

“Sorry” Oikawa said when he realized that he had probably fucked up. “I’ll just leave”

With that, Oikawa turned to leave. He was about to walk away when Ushijima stopped him.

“I’m amazing?”

Oikawa slowly turned towards Ushijima. “What?”

“You said I am amazing.”

Oikawa blinked. “No I did not”

“Yes you did”

“No I didn’t”

“You did when you started your Ted Talk about me and my team”

Oikawa was about to launch into his fight mode when he realized Ushijima was teasing him. “Fuck you!”

Ushijima took a step closer. “Fuck you too!”

Oikawa couldn’t breathe. This was the first time he had heard Ushijima cuss at him. Why was it so… _hot_?

“Well…” Oikawa said, blinking profusely. “Fuck you right back”

“Okay” Ushijima said and took another step closer to Oikawa.

And before Oikawa could react or understand what was happening, Ushijima had pushed him against the wall behind them and claimed his mouth in his.

Oikawa felt Ushijima’s lips brush up against his own as his tongue grazed against Oikawa’s teeth, waiting for an entry. Oikawa thought to resist but his body had a mind of its own. He opened his mouth slightly and Ushijima pushed right in, his tongue rubbing against Oikawa’s.

He felt his knees go weak suddenly and he reached his hands around Ushijima’s shoulders for support.

The spiker dropped the bag he was carrying on his shoulder and intensified the kiss further, diving deeper into Oikawa. He let a moan out when Ushijima’s fingers reached behind his ears and dug into his hair.

Oikawa felt the universe coursing through his veins.

 _Fuck_! So this was what it felt like to kiss Ushijima.

 _Whoa, whoa, whoa!_ He was kissing Ushijima. Ushijima!!!!!!!!!!

Oikawa suddenly opened his eyes and pulled away. “Stop!” he said and Ushijima let him go immediately.

He blinked and Oikawa blinked and they kept staring and blinking at each other for a few seconds before Ushijima spoke up.

“Sorry” was the first thing he said. “I… It won’t happen again”

Ushijima picked his back up and turned around to walk back to his hotel. He had taken a few steps away when Oikawa’s voice reached him.

“The final’s tomorrow, isn’t it?”

Ushijima turned to look at Oikawa again. He didn’t know what he was searching for on Oikawa’s face but he was relieved that he didn’t find it.

Ushijima nodded.

Oikawa picked his own bag up that he had carelessly thrown away on the sidewalk. “If you win tomorrow, come find me in my room after midnight. I am at 805”

With that, Oikawa turned around and walked into his hotel.

Ushijima stood there, frozen.

What just happened?

Did Oikawa just….

Ushijima wanted to win the match anyway, for the sake of winning. But now... now he had a reason to and he knew he _had to_ win the fuck out of the finals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD THEY KISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> My man Ushi growing some balls lmfao


	8. Tooru Oikawa, I won

Ushijima didn’t know what went around in his mind before he had kissed Oikawa.

After that night at the club, Ushijima had bent over backwards to avoid that setter. Because it didn’t seem like Oikawa wanted anything to do with him and he made it pretty obvious when he had looked Ushijima in the eye and kissed someone else. Ushijima didn’t see a reason why he should keep living in agony, thinking Oikawa would ever treat him differently than he normally did.

But then last night, Oikawa had come to find him first, talk to him first and despite how foul-mouthed he was, Ushijima knew he stopped him on his way to the hotel for a reason.

Oikawa had been nervous and it stirred something inside of Ushijima.

He didn’t listen to reason after that.

He had taken a risk. Whatever happened, happened.

He didn’t care anymore about that night and what Oikawa did with that guy he’d met at the club. As long as he wasn’t around Oikawa right now, Ushijima didn’t give a fuck!

When Oikawa had asked him to stop, Ushijima felt the blood run out of his body, thinking that maybe he had forced himself at Oikawa. He knew an apology wouldn’t cut it so he had assured Oikawa that he would never do something like that ever again.

But when Oikawa asked him to meet him at his hotel room, Ushijima felt like he could breathe again.

As he faced Serbia, Ushijima knew he needed to win. He knew there would be a 24 year old brunette waiting for him in his room and Ushijima didn’t want to disappoint him.

He would fight with everything he had to win.

And he did.

Japan won three straight sets, winning the championship and once their basic courtesies were done, his team was taken to the conference room for interviews.

Ushijima couldn’t wait for it to be over and rush to the hotel.

Oikawa sat in his room, his eyes glued to the screen and he watched in horror as Japan won.

He picked up a bag of chips from his bed and began munching on the contents like he had been starved for a whole year. There were more bags of chips scattered on the floor that Oikawa had emptied throughout the day.

Oikawa ate when he was stressed and this was wrecking his nerves.

After he had said those words to Ushijima, Oikawa walked to his room absolutely petrified. He couldn’t actually believe that the entire conversation had happened.

He’d slapped himself to make sure it was all real. It was. And he had been the one to enforce it.

That’s when the chips eating began.

And the uncountable cans of coke since he was abstaining from alcohol until December.

He picked up another new can and clicked it open.

Japan was being interviewed one by one and Oikawa stuffed his face with all the chips his fist could grab.

It was a live interview and Ushijima would be on the screen any time now. And then he would leave the sports arena and go to his hotel and wait and it would be midnight and then what?

Oikawa had zero plans.

He had invited Ushijima to his room for what exactly? What even the fuck was that proposition?

The setter shook his head nervously and took a big sip of the coke.

He could call Ushijima and tell him it was a joke, right? Ushijima looked like he could handle jokes! Or Oikawa could simply book a last minute flight and run away. That seemed easier than facing Ushijima! No, what would he tell his teammates? How would he explain his sudden departure?

Oikawa could not answer the door. That was another option but just the thought of Ushijima knocking and Oikawa hiding inside his room was making him anxious. It was like that feeling Oikawa got when he was expecting a call and he would nervously fidget with everything and not be able to focus on anything until his phone actually rang. No, he couldn’t do that either.

Oikawa chewed through another mouthful of chips.

Maybe he could fake his own death and move to a country where they didn’t know what volleyball was or had the internet or electricity for that matter.

No, that was too extreme.

Oikawa breathed deep.

There was one option that could work. He could let Ushijima come in and tell him that it was all a misunderstanding and he would not do what Ushijima thought he’d do.

Yeah, that would definitely work.

Oikawa’s attention went back to the screen and Ushijima was already being featured. Oikawa’s grip against the can of coke tightened because fuck Ushijima looked hot with that red jersey and his sweaty brows and his flushed cheeks and his beautiful, red lips that had found their way to Oikawa’s last night. He had to admit he had regretted stopping the kiss and the only reason he had invited Ushijima to his room was because he wanted to feel those full, lush lips again.

Okay, so there was one more option. Ushijima could come over and Oikawa would tell him that it’s no big deal but he wants to just kiss him, you know, like friends!

The reporter began to wrap up. ‘Before the Championship, we had asked Tooru Oikawa if he too thought of you as a threat. Do you know what he said?’

Oikawa laughed. They always asked him who he thought his biggest obstacle during the season would be and he always gave them enough scoop to stop questioning him further.

Ushijima shook his head at the reporter.

‘He said he wouldn’t consider you a threat even if you suddenly started playing with both your hands’

Ushijima laughed and Oikawa laughed. It was a good answer according to him. Ushijima was already a monster on court with his left hand shots. But that had a few limitations. If he started playing with both his hands, he would be unstoppable.

‘Anything you’d like to say to Oikawa?’ the reporter asked Ushijima.

Ushijima looked straight at the camera and Oikawa was startled for a second. He felt the heat rushing to his cheeks like Ushijima could actually see him.

 _Calm down_ , Oikawa told himself and thought another sip of coke could cool him down.

‘Tooru Oikawa, I won’ Ushijima said with a smile.

Oikawa choked on the coke.

_What the actual fuck?_

Oikawa paced in his room frantically. It was 1 am. Why wasn’t Ushijima here yet?

It was true that Oikawa had finally decided that once Ushijima arrived, he’d tell him clearly that this wasn’t whatever he thought it was and that Oikawa had said those words without meaning to.

Then why had he spent the last two hours cleaning his room and showering? He had even cleaned up after himself a little. Shaving the light stubble that was beginning to grow on his face, washing his hair and setting it a little like he did when he went out partying, hoping to meet someone he could hook up with, wearing crisp, fresh set of clothes, a hint of perfume and lots and lots of body moisturizer.

He checked the time again. 1:01.

He looked at the door to his room and back at his watch and paced around the room a few more times before sitting on the couch.

1:03.

Everything felt amplified. Every tick and every tock of the wall clock in Oikawa’s room felt like a hammer hitting his nerves. The lights seemed brighter than usual and his pulses were higher than usual.

How long would this go on for?

Oikawa felt like he’d been sent to the edge of a cliff and he was waiting for someone to push him.

His breathing was heavy and the room felt warmer than usual, even if the aircon was set at the lowest temperature possible.

Oikawa rubbed his hand to his mouth, a weird tension building inside as the clock ticked away.

His foot tapped on the wooden floor without a rhythm, fast and desperate. It was not about waiting for Ushijima anymore. It was about waiting for him indefinitely.

Because what if Ushijima didn’t show up at all?

What if he changed his mind because like Oikawa he too was having similar doubts? What if he thought that it was better to stand Oikawa up than take the risk of walking up to his room in a hotel that was full of people who knew them?

It felt like Ushijima suddenly had all the control and Oikawa, none at all.

Oikawa’s hands formed tight fists, knuckles going white at the thought. Oikawa would murder Ushijima if he didn’t show up at all. He would give no fucks and walk down to his damn hotel and knock on every door until he found Ushijima and he would murder him.

He breathed in and out to calm himself down. No, Ushijima wouldn’t do that. He was a man of his words and he certainly wouldn’t go on international television and boldly announce his win if he had no intention of following through.

1:16.

Oikawa was beginning to lose patience and he had half a mind to call Hinata up, asking him where they were and walking down there before grabbing Ushijima by the collar and dragging him away.

1:20.

“Fuck it” Oikawa muttered to himself and got up, ready to change back to his shorts and t-shirt and go to bed instead.

He was about to walk to the closet in the room when he heard a knock on the door.

Oikawa stood still.

A moment ago he was cursing Ushijima for not showing up and now that he had, why wouldn’t his feet move?

Another knock.

Oikawa willed his legs towards the door.

He opened it slightly, just enough to peep outside and the storm building inside of him got wilder.

Ushijima had dressed up a little too. It was obvious that he had rushed right over after a shower because his hair was still wet. He wore a fitting white t-shirt and blue jeans. The jacket he usually wore over his casuals was missing and even from a little distance, Oikawa could smell the fresh coat of musk on him.

Oikawa stepped back and opened the door wide.

Ushijima walked in and slowly closed the door behind.

“Sorry I got caught up!” Ushijima said.

 _I fucking waited for you for an hour and twenty minutes!_ Oikawa wanted to scream.

Oikawa glared at him, not sure if he was angry because Ushijima did show up or because he showed up so late. They stood in the foyer, backs against the drywall behind them, eyes on each other. Ushijima didn’t walk ahead of Oikawa, breaking into his safe space suddenly. It was like he was waiting for Oikawa to invite him further into the room.

“I wanted to come as soon as I could but my team wouldn’t let me leave”

“Like hell you did!” Oikawa managed to say after all.

Ushijima smiled and cleared his throat. “Did you see the match?”

Oikawa didn’t answer. And why should he? It was not like Oikawa was desperate for Japan to win.

“We won three straight sets”

 _And then you went on to announce that after you called my name out!_ Huh! Oikawa hated Ushijima and his guts and his ridiculously dark, sexy wet hair that he just wanted to run his hands through.

Ushijima sighed. “Will you say something at least?”

“Shut up” Oikawa said and rushed towards Ushijima, pinning him to the wall and pressing his mouth against Ushijima’s.

He was surprised at how quick Ushijima accepted him, with zero resistance like he had been waiting for Oikawa to kiss him all day. The musk was strong and intoxicating and Oikawa found himself melting.

 _Goddamnit_. He wanted to talk. He was kissing Ushijima instead.

Ushijima’s hands found their way around Oikawa’s waist and his fingers grazed against the setter’s skin. Oikawa felt like every inch of his body was on fire.

He let a moan out and Ushijima flipped them around until Oikawa was pinned against the wall instead. He deepened the kiss, and Oikawa felt his knees go weak again.

_Fuck!_

Ushijima was soft and unhurried and passionate with his kisses and Oikawa found himself in unchartered territory. He had kissed a lot of guys but none of the kisses even came close to the way Ushijima was kissing him. All his previous kisses had been quick and dry like it was there just for the heck of it, just because it was a show-opener for a bigger event and Oikawa never gave it much thought until he felt his body feel things he’d never thought he’d feel.

Ushijima kissed Oikawa like he was savoring it, like kissing Oikawa was as good as anything that came after that. And Oikawa had never found himself getting hard from just a kiss. This was a first.

He was doomed!

Ushijima seemed to notice it too because he wedged his leg in between and parted Oikawa’s legs apart until he could feel Oikawa’s boner against his own.

Ushijima rubbed himself against Oikawa slightly while still kissing him and Oikawa thought something inside of him would explode.

How the fuck was that even possible? They weren’t even out of their clothes yet. And he hated Ushijima. How was he still making him feel so good?

Ushijima slid his hand between them and grabbed Oikawa over his trousers and the setter suddenly felt panic rush into him.

Ushijima’s hand was on his very hard crotch. It wasn’t just a kiss anymore.

Oikawa turned stiff suddenly.

Ushijima felt something was up almost instantly. He tipped his head back. “Is everything alright?”

 _No!_ But Oikawa didn’t know how to say this out loud. The kiss was fine, Oikawa had expected that but why had he not expected anything else? That was just stupid. And why did he feel like this was his first time being with someone like this? It had been what? Two years since Oikawa had last slept with someone and it was not like he didn’t know what to do. It was just that Ushijima seemed so sure of everything that Oikawa felt like he was out of practice and needed to learn everything from scratch.

Ushijima caught a whiff of his apprehension.

He distanced himself from Oikawa. “Do you want me to stop?”

_Of course not!_

Slowly, Oikawa shook his head.

Ushijima nodded and went closer. He placed his hand against Oikawa’s jawline, his fingertips grazing just below his ears. “Relax, okay?”

He swallowed a lump and nodded carefully.

Ushijima kissed him again and Oikawa found his muscles easing down. His erection was still as hard as a rock though and Oikawa suddenly wanted Ushijima to touch him there again.

But Ushijima had other plans in mind. He grabbed Oikawa by the thighs and pulled him up until Oikawa’s hands were in a lock against Ushijima’s shoulders and his legs wrapped up behind Ushijima’s back.

Oikawa reached down for another kiss and Ushijima walked them over to the couch before letting him lie against the seat as Ushijima hovered over him. He tugged his hand under the hem of Oikawa’s t-shirt and pulled it over his head.

Oikawa was too desperate to let any piece of clothing keep him away from Ushijima so he grabbed Ushijima’s t-shirt and pulled it over his head too.

Ushijima was ripped!

Like seriously ripped. Oikawa worked out too but his muscles were lean and sharp but Ushijima, with his wide shoulders and his thick arms and his gorgeous abs was absolutely buff.

Oikawa wanted to run his fingers across Ushijima’s body. Every inch of it.

Ushijima reached in to take Oikawa’s lips in his once more and then pulled away, leaving fluttering kisses on the edge of Oikawa’s lips, trailing all the way down to his neck, finding his way through Oikawa’s chest, his navel and…

_Fucking hell!_

Oikawa watched in horror as Ushijima kissed him along the fold of his trousers before trailing his lips along Oikawa’s stiffness, over his trousers. His hands reached to unbutton him and Oikawa flushed harder than ever. A part of Oikawa wanted him to stop Ushijima right there because if they crossed this line, there would be no going back, ever. But a bigger part of him wanted Ushijima to lay him bare and take him in his mouth.

It happened faster than Oikawa had imagined. One moment Ushijima was playing against the edge of his trousers and the very next, he had already unbuttoned him and pulled down until all that was visible was Oikawa’s tip sticking out of the briefs he was wearing. Ushijima reached down and slid his tongue over the slit that was visible and Oikawa felt his feet curl.

Ushijima took no time in pulling the briefs down and Oikawa’s erection sprung free.

Oikawa breathed in. The oxygen seemed scarce.

Ushijima licked the length from the bottom back up and before Oikawa could get used to the feeling of Ushijima’s tongue on his dick, Ushijima had already taken him in, full.

Oikawa felt his brain turn into a messy goo as the tip hit against the back of Ushijima’s throat.

“Fuck” Oikawa exclaimed in between his short breaths. Ushijima was good at this. How the fuck was he so good at this?

Oikawa had been blown a couple of times but no one had ever taken him full. His nails dug into the cushion of the couch that Oikawa was so desperately trying to hold on to.

His eyes fell on the bobbing of Ushijima’s head, up and down and holy fuck if it wasn’t the most magnificent sight ever. Ushijima looked up eagerly and Oikawa felt something electric run through him when their eyes met.

Ushijima pulled away and Oikawa wanted to force his head back down for a second but Ushijima was not done yet.

Never taking his eyes off Oikawa, Ushijima licked through the length of the shaft again, before resting his lips just over the slit. Gripping Oikawa’s dick with his firm strong hands, Ushijima gave it a rub.

“Oh god” Oikawa found himself saying with a gasp.

Ushijima continued to use his hands for a while before Oikawa finally found out why his lips were still so close to his tip.

Sticking his tongue out a little, Ushijima pushed it against the slit, ever so slightly.

“Fuck! Yes! Ushijima… oh my god! Oikawa panted and his hands moved from the couch and into Ushijima’s hair, pushing him a little.

Ushijima smiled.

He tugged on the slit with his tongue with a little more force while still moving his hand in a steady yet paced motion.

Oikawa didn’t think he could take it any longer. “I’ll come” he said with a sharp breath.

Ushijima opened his mouth once more and removed his hand, going down on him again. His head went up and down, faster than before and Oikawa felt his legs go numb.

Oikawa looked down at Ushijima’s head working its way between Oikawa’s legs. He had his eyes closed, like he was engrossed and lost in the act.

Ushijima went deeper and Oikawa’s head tipped back as his fingers gripped Ushijima’s hair tight and pushed for more.

“Fuck!” Oikawa screamed again and Ushijima increased his pace even more.

“I’m coming” Oikawa hissed and expected Ushijima to move away but that bastard kept going as Oikawa with all his embarrassment pushed his head against the cushion even further. He arched his hips up and Ushijima still had him far up his throat.

Oikawa came in the warm, wet hide of Ushijima’s mouth.

Ushijima swallowed.

Holy fuck! Oikawa had not expected Ushijima to take him all in. He had not expected Ushijima to let Oikawa empty himself inside his mouth. He had not expected Ushijima to swallow it all and he for the life of him had not expected to find it so hot!

Ushijima wiped his mouth clean and before Oikawa could find a reason, he was already up and reaching over and pushing Ushijima down and kissing him again.

He took everything he was wearing off because he didn’t want anything to get in the way anymore.

Oikawa was bustling with eagerness. Everything inside his body was screaming to do exactly what Ushijima had done to him just now. It was not just competition that he needed to perform better than him, but for the first time, Oikawa felt the need to please someone.

He wanted Ushijima to feel exactly what he had felt for the past couple of minutes and his fingers drummed with excited energy.

“My turn” Oikawa said, straddling Ushijima and smiling and Ushijima couldn’t help but smile back.

Oikawa was just about to unbutton Ushijima when he felt the buzz of something piercing through the air.

Ushijima reached behind his back and into the back pocket of his denim. “Sorry, it’s my phone”

Oikawa wanted to tell him to turn it to silent because he had done the same before Ushijima had come over and wasn’t that just like… basic manners?

“It’s Hinata” Ushijima said. “Do you mind if I take this?”

Of course he did. But he wouldn’t say that.

Instead Oikawa shook his head.

Ushijima received the call and said no more than two words before his eyes flew wide open.

‘What?’ Oikawa mouthed soundlessly, still very aware that he was sitting over Ushijima and that he was still very, very naked.

Ushijima hung up. “Hinata said they’re five minutes away from the hotel. He wanted to check if I was coming over to the after party in their room. Hinata’s coming to invite you too”

“Fuck!” Oikawa exclaimed and he pushed himself away from Ushijima. “Fuck, you need to leave, right now”

Ushijima sat up straight and Oikawa handed him his t-shirt. Ushijima wore it quickly.

Oikawa wore his trousers faster than he had taken them off and Ushijima wore his shoes.

“This is all your fault, you know?” Oikawa asked, glancing sideways at Ushijima as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.

For a second, Ushijima thought Oikawa was blaming him for what happened tonight but that was not the case.

“Why the fuck could you not show up a little earlier?”

Ushijima smiled. “Sorry”

“Fuck you!”

He got up and walked over to Oikawa before bending and kissing him again. “Fuck you too” he whispered against his lips and Oikawa forgot whatever he was supposed to say next.

“I have to leave now”

Oikawa nodded but for some reason had this undeniable urge to ask him to stay. He didn’t act on it though. Oikawa hated this, he hated how they were ending things tonight. He wanted more, so much more and he wanted to feel Ushijima between his lips too. Oikawa had been at the receiving end of Ushijima’s generosity twice now while Oikawa hadn’t even lifted a finger. It seemed oddly unfair.

Ushijima walked to the door and Oikawa stared after him. His hand reached for the knob when Oikawa stopped him.

“Ushijima…” he said and Ushijima turned around.

“This stays between us, right?”

“Sure” Ushijima said with a reassuring smile and walked out of the room.

Oikawa sat there, staring at the closed door, killing the voice in his head that was telling him to go after Ushijima. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another chapter, another shout out to my last-minute savior @Choccyghost for proofreading this. ILY <3


	9. Do you always wear white?

Sometimes Oikawa wished he had people he could talk to. Not like having long conversations that never ended but just someone asking him mundane questions like how his day was, if he ate on time, how long the practices went for, if he wants to go to some place for dinner and stuff. It would seem pretty unimportant to others but to Oikawa, the conversations were held in the highest regards.

Iwaizumi had kept a check on him all throughout school years but that ended six years ago. He tried, and Oikawa knew that he did but the time difference and their respective schedules soon got in the way. Oikawa still got texts from his best friend every two or three days but it was not like before and it was not nearly enough.

And this time while Oikawa was back in Japan, he hadn’t even been able to meet Iwaizumi as he was in Yokohama with the new players under him for training.

Since Iwaizumi wasn’t available, Oikawa had decided to not stay at his apartment in Tokyo, rather go home and stay with his parents for the duration.

There was another reason he didn’t want to stay at the Tokyo apartment but Oikawa didn’t like to think about it.

But the vacations were over and his parents were visiting his sister’s family so Oikawa had no other choice but to go back to the apartment before his flight to Argentina the next morning.

Now he was sprawled on his couch, flipping channels on the television, waiting for time to pass. He had spent the past two hours watching television, rather, switching channels because every time he went on a NEWS channel, it was Ushijima all over the screen and every time Oikawa flipped to something else, he found himself going back to the NEWS.

They hadn’t seen or spoken to each other since the World Championship finals. And Oikawa didn’t think there was a need to because it was all in the past and it was not like he wanted to repeat whatever happened again. Ushijima hadn’t contacted him either but that could easily be attributed to him not having Oikawa’s number.

He had told Ushijima that day to keep it all between them and he had.

Oikawa had let himself move on from that night because he finally felt free.

Ushijima was out of his system.

And that was that.

But Ushijima was two doors down and Oikawa could just… knock?

He could just walk up to him and they could talk and catch up and he could cook Oikawa something and he could ask him if he had seen anyone since that night and Oikawa could find reasons to run his fingers through Ushijima’s thick hair until Ushijima pinned him down and gave him what he needed.

_Fuck!_

Oikawa jerked himself up and turned the television off, throwing the controller on the couch carelessly.

He needed to clear his head and stay as far away from this place as possible until he was sure he wouldn’t just rush over to Ushijima’s place. Staying away had been easy when he was staying in Miyagi with his parents. Now, he wasn’t too sure.

Picking his jacket up and wearing a scarf around his neck, Oikawa decided to leave because wandering aimlessly on the streets was a much better option right now.

He had been walking for over thirty minutes and was pretty far from his residential building and deep into the commercial streets when he spotted the familiar make of flaming red hair through a shop window.

His feet began moving faster than his mind and before Oikawa could tell himself to stop, he was already inside.

“Tendou?” Oikawa asked, staring at the tall figure who was dressed in white, double-breasted coat and checkered pants.

Tendou’s eyes widened when he spotted Oikawa by the door.

“Tooru Oikawa?” he said with a smile and walked towards him.

Oikawa would have hugged Tendou because he was the first familiar face he’d seen since coming to Japan, except for his family, but they weren’t that close.

Tendou invited him in and Oikawa took a seat, but noticed that Tendou was about to wrap up.

“Do you work here?” Oikawa asked after Tendou thanked his last customers for visiting as they left.

“Nah bro, this is mine”

Oikawa was surprised. “You’re a chocolatier?” he asked, taking the scarf he was wearing off.

Tendou took the apron around his waist off from behind the counter before walking back to where Oikawa sat.

“Why do I always get the same reaction?” Tendou complained as he sat down.

Oikawa laughed. “No, I mean, you were a good player. I thought you’d want to continue”

Tendou shook his head. “Nah. I mean I loved volleyball but I love chocolate more and since my parents banned me from buying any, I decided to make my own”

That didn’t make any sense in Oikawa’s head but it was Tendou, he rarely made any sense.

“This is a beautiful place” Oikawa said, looking around. It was a small space but very, very cozy. The lighting made the place look warmer than it actually was and Oikawa could imagine couples spending their day here, talking to each other comfortably.

“Thanks” Tendou said. “Did you just arrive in Japan?”

“No, I came two weeks ago. I am actually going back tomorrow”

“So what are your plans for tonight?”

He planned to not go back to his apartment until dawn so as to avoid Ushijima but he didn’t say that to Tendou. Instead, he just shrugged.

“Well then come with me to the Eita’s live performance”

“Eita? As in Eita Semi?”

Tendou nodded and Oikawa was confused.

“Live performance of what? I thought Semi had a full time job”

Tendou shook his head. “That’s Weekday-Semi. We’re going to see Weekend-Semi”

“What’s a Weekend-Semi?”

Tendou smiled and it looked sinister, like he was inviting Oikawa to an underground cult.

He got up and took his double breasted coat off and Oikawa noticed he was wearing a t-shirt that read ‘Sex Gods’.

Now Oikawa really thought Tendou was inviting him to an underground cult.

But then he realized something else that scared him more.

“Wi… will Ushijima be there too?”

Tendou sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, staring down at Oikawa. It made Oikawa nervous. Did Tendou know?

“You still hate him, don’t you?” he asked instead, shaking his head.

Oikawa opened his mouth to say something but Tendou cut him off.

“Don’t worry, he won’t be there. Adlers are in Osaka for their club matches.”

Okay, that was good, wasn’t it? Ushijima wasn’t in the city at all. Had Oikawa known that already, he’d have stayed at the apartment. But now he was being coaxed into joining some cult.

He called for someone named Haruka and a guy who looked like he was still in high school emerged from the door on the opposite side of the counter. Tendou asked him to lock up after he left and the boy nodded.

Tendou then turned to Oikawa. “Come on, let’s go” he said and yanked Oikawa out of the place before Oikawa could resist.

Okay so it wasn’t an underground cult but it was still underground. Tendou took him to a performance club where upcoming bands usually performed and it was a pretty nice place with a decent crowd.

There were five bands lined up for performance and Semi’s band, which only then Oikawa found out was called ‘Sex Gods’, was to perform last. Oikawa finally understood what Tendou had meant by Weekend-Semi. It was regular Semi only a slightly 'rock head, guitar playing, member of a rock band' version of him.

“Do you want something to drink?” Tendou asked, scanning the crowd.

“I’ll take a look around first” Oikawa said and reached to take his scarf off, only to realize that he’d left it at Tendou’s chocolate shop.

“Okay, stay here and I’ll be right back” Tendou muttered and vanished in the crowd.

There were many people around Oikawa, mostly musicians he assumed. Some of them had their guitar cases hanging from their shoulders while others had their drumsticks in their hands. Maybe they were here to perform too.

Oikawa turned to walk to the bar to get something light to drink when someone behind him slung his guitar off his shoulder and the side landed straight on Oikawa’s right knee with a big thud.

A sharp pain shot from the center of Oikawa’s knee to every part of his body as his hand reached for the knee immediately.

The pain was immense and Oikawa’s eyes watered as he breathed out loud with his mouth. 

“I am so sorry” the guy said when he noticed he had hit Oikawa.

The setter was about to yell when he realized it was a very young boy and he looked petrified.

“Are you okay?” he asked, bending and trying to reach for Oikawa’s knee.

He looked scared and apologetic so Oikawa stood up straight and decided to let it go.

“I’m fine” he said, trying not to wince. “Just be careful with that thing, okay?” he said, pointing to the guitar. The boy thanked him and apologized once more before his band mates called him.

Oikawa needed to find a seat.

He walked towards the bar and clambered onto a barstool.

Massaging his knee, Oikawa felt a little disappointed that he wouldn't be able to see much of the live performance because being on his foot could do some damage by straining his knee.

“Can I have a coke please?” Oikawa asked the bartender and he brought him a glass immediately. Oikawa turned to face the crowd. The lights turned off suddenly and the first band stepped up on the stage. Oikawa tipped his head up to see something, anything but the crowd of people in front of him prevented him from doing so.

Oikawa sighed and sipped on the coke.

The bands came and played three pieces each until the next band arrived and now Oikawa had heard eleven songs and watched none. The fourth band’s final song started and Oikawa thought there was no point in staying here any longer. He wanted to leave but Tendou hadn’t returned after he left Oikawa there and he would like to pick his scarf up before he returned to his apartment.

The pain in Oikawa’s knee had subsided to almost nothing but he still wanted to be careful so he stayed where he was, massaging his knee.

He bobbed his head slowly, enjoying the music but also wanting to be able to see at least one of them perform. Just when the fourth band’s final piece ended, Oikawa heard his name.

He recognized the voice immediately and titled his head in horror, only to see Ushijima standing there.

“Wh… what are you doing here? I thought you were in Osaka”

Ushijima stepped closer so he could see Oikawa better. “I took the train out to see Eita’s band. Why are you sitting back here?”

His eyes first went to Oikawa’s face and then to his hand on his right knee. He rushed forwards immediately, reaching out to check if he was fine.

Oikawa’s heart skipped a beat.

But there were far too many people around, some of whom had started to recognize Japan’s top spiker.

“Ushijima…” Oikawa said, stopping him, his voice urgent and unsteady. “Not here”

Ushijima withdrew his hand immediately. He quietly took a seat on the barstool next to Oikawa and both turned to face the crowd.

“Did something happen?” Ushijima asked, not looking at Oikawa.

“A guitar base hit my knee”

Ushijima’s eyes widened and he glanced at Oikawa. “Are you alright? Do you need to go see a doctor? I can call for a cab immediately”

“Stop looking at me” Oikawa ordered sternly and Ushijima turned away. “I am fine” he said in a much softer voice. “Don’t worry”

The host announced that the final band, Sex Gods would be on in 5 minutes.

Someone walked to them and Oikawa turned still. They smiled at Ushijima and asked for an autograph. Ushijima complied with no complaints. After they left, Oikawa breathed in relief. “You’re pretty famous in Japan, eh?” he joked.

Oikawa looked at him from the corner of his eyes. Ushijima was wearing all white again. He had a grey sweater over which he wore a white padded jacket and his neck was covered in white and grey scarf. The only contrast was his black trousers. The tip of his nose was red and his cheeks were flushed from the cold.

He looked so adorable just sitting there like the way he was that Oikawa wanted to stop giving a fuck about the crowd and turn around to stare at him properly.

“I am pretty famous all over the world” Ushijima said with a flat tone.

“Asshole” Oikawa laughed and it made Ushijima smile instantly.

And fucking hell wasn’t that smile just the end of Oikawa.

“Are you sure your knee’s fine?” Ushijima asked, turning to Oikawa and Oikawa finally looked him in the eye. Ushijima’s concern was piercing through Oikawa’s skin.

“Yes, I am sure”

Ushijima nodded. “Eita’s band is about to perform, want to go up front?”

Oikawa shook his head. “I’ll just sit here. Don’t want to strain my leg anymore”

“Okay then” Ushijima said and stood up. “Wait here”

With that, he vanished.

Ushijima came back in less than a minute. “Come on” he said, holding his hand out.

“I really shouldn’t stand and watch”

Ushijima smiled. “You won’t have to”

Oikawa thought of refusing him but he couldn’t kill the curiosity in his mind. He slid his hand into Ushijima’s and supported himself up, ready to see where Ushijima was taking him.

To his surprise, he didn’t have to walk for long as Ushijima took him through the crowd and out back until they reached the stage opening from the left side. And there was a chair placed there, facing the stage.

Oikawa blinked in surprise. “What is this?” he asked Ushijima.

“You wanted to see the performance, didn’t you?”

Slowly Oikawa nodded.

“It’s not a direct view but it’s better than sitting in the back and not being able to see anything”

Oikawa was overwhelmed. So much so, that he didn’t even know what to say.

“Take a seat” Ushijima said and Oikawa did, feeling the beating of his heart as it went up.

Semi’s band walked to the stage and in no time, they started playing.

Oikawa thought Ushijima would leave him there but he didn’t. He took a step forward to take a better look at the band but he stayed right where Oikawa was.

Oikawa had come there with Ushijima to watch the live performance but for the entire time that Semi’s band played, Oikawa was looking at Ushijima instead.

The performances were over and soon, the crowd dispersed. After wrapping up, Ushijima went to talk to Semi and to inform Tendou that Oikawa was backstage.

Tendou left to meet Oikawa before leaving and Semi and Ushijima were finally alone to talk.

“That was amazing” Ushijima said as Semi was packing up. “Were those new songs?”

Semi raised an eyebrow and stared at Ushijima. “What the fuck are you buttering me up for? What do you want?”

“Nothing. I was genuinely wondering”

Semi squinted his eyes, not believing a word Ushijima said. “Spill”

Ushijima sighed. “I can’t come with you guys today”

“I knew it” Semi hissed. “I fucking knew you’d do this. It’s because that stupid Oikawa is here, isn’t it?”

“He took a hit to his knee. I need to make sure he gets home fine”

Semi titled his head to the right, analyzing Ushijima intently. “Since when are you two friends?”

“Not long” Ushijima said but he knew Semi didn’t buy it.

“Do I have to fucking knock some sense into you?” Semi asked instead.

“Eita, it’s no big deal. We live in the same place, on the same floor, I’m just helping a neighbor?”

Semi placed his guitar in the case and closed it. “It just makes me uncomfortable”

“There is nothing to worry about”

Semi sighed. “Just, be careful, okay? I don’t want to see you get hurt”

“You’re overthinking this. We are just friends”

“At least learn to lie before saying stupid fucking things like this”

Ushijima laughed. “So I’ll see you next week?”

Semi nodded and Ushijima thanked him. He was just about to leave when Semi stopped him. He walked closer to Ushijima and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“This helping the neighbor thing…” he said, in a low voice so no one else could hear them. “Does it also involve sticking your dick up your neighbor’s ass?”

Ushijima’s cheeks flushed and Semi stared at him in shock.

“Fuck” Semi said. “Fuck, I was just kidding. Are… are you telling me something happened?”

“N… no!” Ushijima blurted.

Semi’s hand flew to his mouth. “Oh my fucking god, Ushiwaka, did… did you do it already?”

“NO!” Ushijima yelled in horror and closed his eyes.

How the fuck was this happening?

Semi thought about it for a moment. “So that means you’re hoping to do it sometime in the future? With Oikawa?”

Ushijima was stunned and silent because what the fuck could he say to this?

Semi nodded and patted Ushijima on the shoulder again. “I know I told you to be careful, but…”

Ushijima’s eyes fluttered open.

Semi continued. “… if you don’t call us this time to let us count your hickeys, I will find ways to murder you in your sleep”

The venue closed down for the day and everyone went their ways, leaving only Ushijima and Oikawa by the door. They stood in silence, side by side, waiting for the other to speak but kept stealing glances at each other instead.

Finally Ushijima broke the silence. “H… how are you going back to the apartment?”

“I’ll just book a cab” he said but then recalled he wasn’t carrying cash or card with him. He had walked out just for a stroll so he didn’t think he’d need money.

“Do you have cash?” Oikawa asked Ushijima, “I have no money on me. I’ll pay you back when I reach home”

“I didn’t bring my wallet” Ushijima said immediately.

Oikawa pursed his lips. “Did you bring your car?”

Ushijima shook his head.

“I guess I’ll just walk then” Oikawa said. He looked at the time and it was around 1 am. He wouldn’t lose much time if he left now. He could still get a good night’s sleep before his flight.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Ushijima asked. “Shouldn’t you just rest your knee?”

Oikawa shrugged. “It’s not like I have any choice”

Ushijima turned towards Oikawa suddenly.

Oikawa watched as Ushijima took his scarf off.

“It’s cold, what are you doing?” Oikawa asked but his answer came almost immediately.

Ushijima placed the scarf on Oikawa’s neck and wrapped it around properly.

“There is one option” he whispered softly and Oikawa felt his ears turn warm suddenly.

“Let me take you home” Ushijima said.

Oikawa couldn’t believe this. He was not only embarrassed but also very, very terrified. He buried his face as best as he could so no one would recognize him. Thank god Ushijima had given him his scarf. Oikawa was using it to hide his face as best as he could.

He should have known something was up when Ushijima offered to take him home. He should have known he’d have something so stupid up his sleeve and Oikawa couldn’t believe had agreed to this.

Oikawa hid his face further.

This was embarrassing.

How the fuck had he agreed to a piggyback ride from Ushijima?

Oikawa’s hands were wrapped around Ushijima’s shoulders and his head rested just next to the nape of Ushijima’s neck. They were walking slowly towards their residential building as eyes on the streets turned to them.

As embarrassed as Oikawa was, Ushijima didn’t seem to be bothered at all as he walked past people who recognized him.

Oikawa took one fold off the scarf he was wearing and brought it in front of Ushijima’s face.

“What are you doing?” Ushijima asked.

“Covering your fucking face, you idiot” Oikawa said, “In case you haven’t noticed, people seem to recognize you even in the dark”

“It doesn’t bother me”

How was he even real?

“Well it bothers me” Oikawa said and Ushijima didn’t complain after that. Oikawa wrapped the scarf around Ushijima’s face, leaving just enough space for him to see and only when people finally stopped turning their heads towards them, did he breathe in relief.

“Ushijima…” Oikawa said after they were almost half way through.

“Hmm?”

“Do you always wear white?”

Ushijima shrugged lightly. “I don’t know” he said and then thought about it for a while. “Maybe. Why?”

“I’ve only ever seen you wear white” Oikawa said. “Don’t you like other colors?”

“I’ve never really thought about it”

“Well what about when you go out to buy new clothes?”

“I don’t buy my clothes. My agent does”

Oikawa tipped his head back a little, surprised. “Are you serious? You mean to say everything in your wardrobe is what your agent bought you?”

“Yep”

Oikawa shook his head. “No wonder it’s all white. You give off a very monochromatic vibe”

Ushijima laughed. “There’s no such thing”

“Next time we meet, I’m taking you out shopping and throwing all those whites off your closet” Oikawa blurted before realizing what he had said. He had just made a future plan with Ushijima like they were dating or something.

_Fuck!!!_

His panic was about to set in again but Ushijima stopped it. “That sounds nice” he said softly and Oikawa swore the cherry blossoms bloomed in the middle of winter.

They fell back to silence for a few minutes before Ushijima spoke. “I didn’t know you were in Japan” he said.

“I came two weeks ago but I was at my parents’ in Miyagi”

“Are you staying longer?”

Oikawa shook his head. “My flight’s tomorrow”

“Oh” Ushijima said and Oikawa thought he caught a hint of sadness in his voice.

Neither of them spoke for a while but Ushijima had a question burning up inside of him.

“Were you hoping to leave without telling me you were here?”

Oikawa’s breath caught in his throat.

“N… no” he managed to say but he wasn’t sure if it was convincing. “I just… I was at my parents’ the entire time and I only came back because they were leaving for my sister’s house and I had a flight from Tokyo. I didn’t hide it from you on purpose”

 _Liar_ , a voice in Oikawa’s head said.

He _was_ hoping he wouldn’t have to encounter Ushijima at all and until a few months ago, Oikawa would have told Ushijima that to his face but this time, something was different. Oikawa didn’t know what but he believed he needed to lie about this.

“Okay” Ushijima said and something ached inside Oikawa, thinking how easily Ushijima had believed him.

“What time is your flight?”

“Early” Oikawa lied again.

_Fuck!_

The truth was, Oikawa was scared. They hadn’t talked at all since their last encounter in Oikawa’s hotel room and Oikawa didn’t know what the rules were. He was afraid to ask, thinking he’d sound needy and desperate. He had thought whatever happened was a one-time thing that he needed to do to get rid of Ushijima from his mind.

So he wasn’t sure where they were supposed to go from here or _if_ they were supposed to go anywhere at all.

They reached their residential building soon and something heavy settled in Oikawa’s heart.

For some reason, Oikawa didn’t want the night to end yet.

“You can let go of me now” Oikawa said but Ushijima wouldn’t have it.

“Stay still”

Oikawa didn’t have the nerve to move.

They stayed as they were until they went in, up the elevator and until they reached Oikawa’s door.

Ushijima finally let Oikawa get down.

“Thank you” Oikawa said, turning towards his door and feeding the numbers into the keypad. The door clicked and Oikawa turned the knob to open it.

He was about to step in when Ushijima stopped him.

“Give me your phone” he said.

Oikawa fished his phone out, unlocked it and gave it to Ushijima without a question.

Ushijima typed a few numbers on the number pad and retrieved his own phone from his jacket before showing it to Oikawa.

The setter saw his number flashing on Ushijima’s screen.

Ushijima gave Oikawa his phone back and smiled. “Next time you’re in Japan, make sure you let me know”

Oikawa didn’t know what to do except nod. So he did.

“Good night” Ushijima said and walked to his own apartment.

Ushijima closed the door behind him and reached for his pocket.

Retrieving his car keys and wallet from the jacket he was wearing, he set them on the small bowl on the table. He had left his car back at the club where Semi had performed. But he could go and get it the next day.

Taking his phone out, he stared at the number highlighted as a missed call.

Tapping on it, Ushijima saved it under ‘Tooru’.

Oikawa stood with his back to the door that he had just closed behind him. Ushijima’s scarf was still wrapped around his neck and he buried his nose into it, smelling the familiar hint of musk that Ushijima wore.

He had Ushijima’s number. It was such a trivial thing- a phone number and yet Oikawa didn’t know why his heart was leaping out of bounds.

As he smiled and saved Ushijima’s number on his phone, Oikawa was certain of just one thing- Ushijima was not out of his system. He was very, very deeply rooted in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa this chapter took forever but @Choccyghost makes my life so much easier. You're an angel. I don't deserve you 😭😭😭
> 
> P.S. Updates from now on will be every 2-3 days because like... I seriously have to think about decent plots and scenes for everything to make sense and I don't want to give y'all half hearted chapters so I am sorry in advance for the wait. I will try my best to update as soon as I can. Thank you so much for your love and support so far. You guys are absolutely amazing!


	10. Safety precautions

It started with one text.

Oikawa was in the middle of practice when Juan hauled him by the collar and dragged him to the side of the court.

“Juan” Oikawa protested as he watched his teammates laugh at them. “Juan let me go”

Juan released him only when they were by the benches. “Sit”

Oikawa didn’t. “What are you talking about? I need to get back on the court”

Juan crossed his arms and Oikawa took a terrifying step back. Juan was always cool and levelheaded but when he crossed his arms, it meant he was on the edge of being pissed and if Juan was pissed, it was hell for everyone.

“How long have you been on the court?” Juan asked, his voice calm but Oikawa knew it was the calm before the storm.

He looked down at his feet, unable to meet Juan’s eyes. “Five hours”

“And how many breaks have you taken in between?”

Oikawa didn’t reply because he hadn’t taken any breaks and if he told Juan that, he was sure he would be dead. 

“Do you want to play in the National League?”

Oikawa finally looked up, feeling betrayed. “You know I do”

“Then you won’t step onto the court until I tell you to do so”

“But…”

Juan cut him off. “I saw you rubbing your knee”

Oikawa felt all blood drain from his body. “I… it… it was just a muscle irritation.”

“Sit and rest until lunch or I swear to god, Oikawa I will have you removed from the lineup for the National League”

With those words, Juan walked back to the court, leaving Oikawa to sulk in silence.

But it was not like he had a choice. Juan didn’t give empty threats. Last year, a teammate went drinking on a night before a match when Juan had specifically asked him not to. Juan had told him that if he even got the whiff of him drinking, he’d cut him from the entire season and he did. Despite the fact that he was the tallest middle blocker in the team. But Juan didn’t give any shits. 

So Oikawa knew he better comply if he wanted to play.

He sunk on the bench and watched his team play for a while.

Soon it was time for lunch and everyone took a break.

While everyone took their time to cool off before lunch, Oikawa pulled his duffle bag to his side and pulled his phone out to kill time.

That’s when all his senses went numb.

There was an unread message waiting for him.

And it was from Ushijima. 

He checked the name on the notification twice to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. No, it really was Ushijima. 

But why?

Oikawa’s heart throbbed under his jersey.

This was sudden. There had been nothing but radio silence for three months since they exchanged numbers and suddenly Ushijima was sending him texts?

He felt his breathing pace as his thumb struggled between tapping on the message to check it and ignoring it altogether.

“Move your ass faster, Oikawa” someone called from his team. “We’ll be late for lunch”

“Fuck it” Oikawa muttered to himself and pressed on the unread message.

There were no words, not even an emoji. Just one photo- of _samgyeopsal_.

An unexpected smile erupted on Oikawa’s face as he recalled that night at the restaurant where he had met with everyone from Japan’s team for dinner. Oikawa didn’t know why Ushijima sent him the photo but it gave him some sort of comfort in the fact that Ushijima was probably thinking of him.

He quickly tapped on the screen to reply when he noticed that the time on his phone read 14:07 which meant it would be roughly 2 am in Japan. Ushijima had sent the text four hours ago. Wouldn’t he be asleep right now? From what Oikawa had gathered, Ushijima didn’t usually keep his phone on silent so sending a text right now might wake him up and Oikawa had never been so considerate for anyone in his life but he still kept his phone back in his bag, making a mental note to send a text later in the evening.

Ushijima was restless and sleep wasn’t really something he hoped to achieve this night. Especially since he had sent Oikawa that text.

It was just a normal dinner that Hoshiumi had proposed because he wanted to explore this new Korean BBQ place down the street from their club gym. Kageyama had invited Hinata because… well because he always did which meant the entire MSBY team was there too. They had ordered _samgyeopsal_ when Hinata became a little too excited about the bet he had made with Kageyama about who could eat more meat and that’s when Ushijima felt the absence of a certain someone beside him.

Before he knew it, he had already taken his phone out to click a photo, which by the way, was noticed by _everyone_ sitting there with him because Ushijima hardly took photos of _anything._

A round of questions had followed like ‘Are you okay?’, ‘Did you hit your head?’, ‘What’s gotten into you today?’ but the most horrific one was when Miya asked ‘Are you sending it to someone?’

Ushijima had quickly snapped a photo and kept the phone back in his pocket before the suspicions could be proven right.

But once he was out of the restaurant and on his way back home, he couldn’t help but send it to Oikawa.

Ushijima didn’t text, like at all, so he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He had spent all his time from the restaurant to his apartment staring at the screen with nothing but Oikawa’s name on top and an unsent message that consisted of just a photo. He had hovered his thumb over the keyboard for a whole fifteen minutes, thinking what else he was supposed to write with the photo.

‘This reminded me of you’? No, that was too cheesy.

‘We’re eating _samgyeopsal_ and you’re not, haha’? What did that even mean?

‘Remember how you almost got hit by Hinata the last time we were eating this’? Ushijima was hopeless.

‘Remember how I save you from falling with my big, strong arms’?

_What??? What the fuck is wrong with me? The last one sounds like a line from some cheap porn._

Ultimately, Ushijima sent that lone photo because somehow, he didn’t even know emojis existed.

That was four hours ago and he had presumed Oikawa would be busy in practice but now Ushijima could see the tiny notification on the side of the photo that indicated that Oikawa had seen the message.

So why the fuck wasn’t he replying?

Oikawa forgot to reply back. He had told himself that he’d do it after he retired to his apartment after the practice but by the time he got home, he was so exhausted from the day’s work that he went to sleep without a single thought of Ushijima or the unreplied text on his phone.

It was only when they came across each other two months later that Oikawa finally remembered.

Argentina was set to have a match with Japan in the fourth week National Volleyball League and to say that Oikawa had been restless was an understatement. His team maneuvered through the first three weeks winning at least two matches out of the three and Oikawa gave it all he had because he didn’t want to face Ushijima with a lower winning rate than Japan. So far, Argentina was leading with 7 wins in three weeks as compared to 6 wins from Japan.

 _Stupid Hinata._ Oikawa thought, trying to blame him for this competitive streak so he wouldn’t have to deal with the voice in his head that told him there was another reason he wanted to win. A reason that involved proving Ushijima how well he was functioning without any form of communication from him and not like he was pining for Ushijima to talk to him.

Argentina was on one side of an unused court and Japan on the other. They were practicing their respective aces from either side.

Ushijima was there too, so close that all Oikawa had to do was walk a few steps and they’d be able to talk.

Fuck no. That would be the oddest thing to watch because everyone on the court knew how much he hated Ushijima. Hell even the press knew about it. So he couldn’t just walk over and suddenly start chatting up like they were the best of friends. 

The war in his head went on for two hours before Oikawa decided to take a break for a while because it was all too much. First, thinking about the match was making him nervous. Second, standing so close to Ushijima was doing nothing to calm his nerves. His palms were sweating profusely and when he missed three balls in a row, he decided it was better to cool himself off for a few minutes before going back.

It was just the end of May and summer was already at its peak. Oikawa felt a drop of sweat trail down the back of his neck and he wasn’t sure if it was from the heat, the practice or from the way he had been watching Ushijima since he sat down on the bench.

Ushijima shot a spike and Oikawa couldn’t help but notice how his arms flexed with the movement. He studied Ushijima’s frame like he was about to take a fucking test soon. Ushijima’s jersey was wet because of all the sweat, clinging to his body from all sides and he pulled the collar and fanned himself after the shot. Bokuto said something and he nodded, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and took his position on the left side of the net and why did something so simple feel so hot to Oikawa suddenly? Kageyama tossed another ball towards him and he jumped, bending his knees in the air. His hand touched the ball, hitting it with force and onto the floor with a deafening thud. His feet landed on the floor, firm and strong and his eyes followed the ball he had just hit. Ushijima panted heavily, his hands resting on his knees and Oikawa unintentionally bit into his own lower lip, his eyes never leaving Ushijima even for a second.

Then, Ushijima’s eyes locked with Oikawa.

The setter felt as if a bolt of thunder had struck his heart.

Oikawa wanted to turn away and pretend like he wasn’t watching but it was too late for that. He released his lip from under the digging of his teeth and… thank god Kageyama called Ushijima’s name because he turned away from Oikawa. 

Oikawa breathed out. What the fuck was he even doing? He had walked down to the bench to cool himself down. Now he was sitting on a bench, ten feet away from his teammates, in the middle of a practice session, half hard from watching Ushijima stand on the court while he talked to Kageyama with his hands on his hips and his shorts hugging his legs and his thighs and his firm ass.

And goddamn that ass.

_Fuck!_

Oikawa heard his name being called from Juan and he asked for a few extra minutes. He was not about to walk down to the court and start playing with a fucking hard on bulging in his shorts.

The only consolation was that no one else seemed to notice it. All Oikawa needed to do was calm down and then everything would be fine. He picked up the bottle of water from the floor and took a long haul and then poured some of the water on the nape of his neck.

The coolness drizzled down the back of his neck and down his chest, relaxing him a little. But things were out of his control. His eyes moved and found Ushijima again. He wasn’t on the court anymore but by the benches on his side, drinking water.

And his eyes were fixed on Oikawa.

_Fuck!!!_

Oikawa glued his eyes to the floor between his shoes like there was something interesting he was looking at.

_Don’t look at him, don’t look at him!_

But he did.

And to his horror, Ushijima said something to his team and began walking straight to Oikawa.

_Fuck!_

Oikawa held his breath like the absence of oxygen would make Ushijima go away.

But why was Ushijima coming towards Oikawa to begin with? What if he said something and someone heard and they found out about whatever this twisted thing between them was? What if Ushijima noticed the slight bulge in Oikawa’s shorts?

How the fuck was he going to explain that?

His heart started beating frantically as Ushijima neared.

Panic struck.

Oikawa stood up, ready to bolt. Running away was better than this, anything would be better than this. So why weren’t his feet moving?

He swallowed a lump in his throat, feeling the nervousness consume him entirely.

 _Run!_ He told himself but before he could, Ushijima was already next to him.

“You need to stop staring”

It was just a whisper, only for Oikawa’s ears and yet Oikawa felt shivers run down his body.

Ushijima stopped in front of him for less than two seconds. Which meant no one would have noticed. But as Ushijima passed by, Oikawa heard another whisper.

“Meet me in the restroom in 5 minutes”

This was bad. This was dangerous and Oikawa had spent a good part of the past seven minutes telling himself that he would never go to the restroom. If possible, until the end of the tournament. This was risky and although Oikawa liked the thrill of danger, it wasn’t worth risking his career over it. What if someone saw them? What if someone took photos?

How would he ever be able to recover from the scandal? He would be taken off the team for the whole tournament until they figured out what to do with him.

But Ushijima was waiting for him and all he needed was to be a little careful, right? And it was not like they were planning on doing something… wrong. Lots of players used the restroom and they could pretend that they just stumbled upon each other and were just talking.

Yes, Oikawa was sure Ushijima just wanted to talk. Possibly about Oikawa poking holes into Ushijima’s body with his stares.

_Fuck!_

Ten minutes later, Oikawa found himself telling Juan that he needed a few more minutes.

So here Oikawa was, standing outside the restroom door, convincing himself to go in.

He looked to his right and then to his left. There wasn’t anyone around so that was a relief.

But now what?

Was he supposed to knock?

He raised his hand to tap it against the door when he realized that he was standing outside a restroom. Who the fuck knocked on the door of a public restroom?

Somehow, Oikawa’s palms were more sweaty than they had been at the practice. Maybe he should just turn around and go.

He looked to his side again and once he was double sure that there was no one else there, he wiped his hands on the back of his shorts and pushed the door.

The moment he went in, he found himself being hauled into a private booth by Ushijima.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Oikawa asked, livid and shaking a little. This was not what he had in mind. He thought they’d just _talk!_

“Shh” Ushijima said, pressing his finger on Oikawa’s lips and pushing him further into the booth.

Ushijima then snuck out of the booth and Oikawa couldn’t believe the nerve on him. The bastard actually locked the main door of the restroom from inside. But then, instead of pulling Oikawa out of that small cramped booth, he made his way in and locked the door to the booth too.

“Safety precautions” he said with a smirk.

Oikawa was stunned. “What the fuck is this?”

Ushijima brought his thumb to Oikawa’s lower lip. “You were biting hard into it” he said, grazing it lightly and Oikawa found himself going stiff from the jitters he left inside.

“Wh… why did you ask me to come to the restroom?” Oikawa asked, finding his voice.

Ushijima smiled slightly, his thumb still tracing Oikawa’s lip. “You were staring at me. I thought I’d give you a better look”

Oikawa couldn’t believe the shit Ushijima was pulling.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Oikawa finally exploded. “Do you know how dangerous this is? I am not risking my career for these stupid fucking games, Ushijima.” He didn’t know where all this anger was coming from. He had decided to come to the restroom. It was not like Ushijima had forced him into it. So why was he so riled up? Why was he saying things he knew he would never be able to take back? Why was he trying to hurt Ushijima intentionally? 

“What the fuck were you even thinking?” Oikawa continued despite his reasoning. “You asked me to come to the restroom and then you locked the door for what exactly? A quick fuck? Or do you want me to suck your cock? Fine! Drop your pants and I will do it if that stops you from doing shit like this again”

 _No, fuck!_ Oikawa couldn’t believe what he had just blurted out. He didn’t mean it to sound so cheap but the words were out and there was no taking it back now. 

On hearing these words, Ushijima suddenly backed away from Oikawa and fuck, Oikawa felt a pang in his heart so strong, it shook him a little.

Oikawa could see the way his words had hit Ushijima because like everything else, Ushijima wore his hurt on his face, unable to hide it.

Ushijima took a step back. “I… I am sorry. I didn’t…” he tried, shaking his head but being unable to find the right words. “I am so sorry” he said again and then turned around to leave.

_Fuck!_

“Wait” Oikawa found himself saying. “Ushijima…” he said to stop him but Ushijima had already unlocked the door to the booth and was ready to walk out.

Oikawa grabbed Ushijima by his arm and pulled him back in.

“Ushijima, wait” he said once more and this time, his voice was on the verge of breaking.

Ushijima stood still for a while, his back turned to Oikawa and Oikawa thought he had fucked everything up.

But then, Ushijima slowly turned around and Oikawa felt something overwhelming and warm and bright in his chest.

“I am sorry for what I said” Oikawa began before he could change his mind. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean it. I am just… scared of what will happen if people found out”

Oikawa tried to blink away the tears that were beginning to form in his eyes.

Ushijima took a step towards him and before Oikawa could resist, Ushijima was already hugging him and only then did Oikawa realise that he was trembling a little. 

“It’s my fault” Ushijima said, rubbing his hand on Oikawa’s back, calming him down. “I shouldn’t have asked you to come here. You’re right, it’s dangerous”

Oikawa shook his head and looked up at Ushijima. He looked so big like that, holding Oikawa in his arms like he was something delicate, like letting him go would break him. His eyes had a glint in them, like he too had been fighting his tears like Oikawa and Oikawa felt his heart break all over again.

“No, it’s not your fault, Ushijima. I had no right to come here on my own accord and then take it out on you”

They stayed still for a while and Ushijima rocked Oikawa in his arms a little, swaying lightly with gentle rhythm and Oikawa finally calmed down.

“You okay now?” Ushijima asked.

Oikawa nodded. “I am sorry. Please just forget what all I said. I didn’t mean any of it”

Ushijima tipped his head back and brought one hand in front of Oikawa’s face, running his fingers through Oikawa’s bangs, setting them properly. “Even then, I shouldn’t have asked you to come here in the middle of practice. It’s just… I didn’t know how else to talk to you. You didn’t even reply to my text”

Wait, what?

Oikawa placed his hands on Ushijima’s chest and pushed himself a little away. They were still inside the booth and it was not like Oikawa had much space to distance himself from Ushijima, nor did he want to.

“What text?” Oikawa asked, blinking in confusion. “I didn’t get any texts”

Ushijima furrowed his eyebrows. “I sent you a photo a couple of months back.”

_Oh fuck!_

Only then did it occur to Oikawa that Ushijima was right. He _had_ indeed sent him a text. He had just forgotten to send a text back.

“Fuck!” Oikawa said, slapping his hand to his mouth. “I forgot about that. I swear I planned on replying but then I just… forgot”

Ushijima smiled and pulled Oikawa closer. “So you were planning to text me back?”

Oikawa nodded again.

“And you were not avoiding me?”

Oikawa shook his head, although he knew what it would have seemed like to Ushijima for two fucking months.

Ushijima was looking at him endearingly, like what Oikawa had just told him was the best thing he had heard in a long time and Oikawa felt a flutter in his heart.

“Can I kiss you?” Ushijima asked suddenly and Oikawa’s body automatically tried to pull himself away from Ushijima but his grip was too strong.

“Here?” Oikawa said with a shaky voice but his eyes were already on Ushijima’s lips.

Ushijima nodded. “Or I could walk to the court and tell everyone that I am taking the day off because I was to kiss you”

This time Oikawa did manage to free himself from Ushijima. “I’m not kissing you here” he said threateningly.

“Okay” Ushijima said, nodding his head slightly. “If you’d rather suck my cock like you said, I’d be up for that too” he teased.

Oikawa’s mouth flung open. “Fuck off” he said, feigning anger and it only fueled Ushijima more.

“Are you sure you want me to fuck off?” he asked, trying to hide his smile. “I mean that boner in your shorts seemed to be saying something else on the court”

_How the fuck did Ushijima even find out about that?_

“That’s it” Oikawa said, putting his hands in the air. “I am leaving”

“Okay, okay” Ushijima said, stopping him. “I am sorry. I won’t tease you anymore”

Oikawa considered this for a moment and decided to stay.

“I really, really, really want to kiss you right now”

Who the fuck was Oikawa even kidding? He had really, really, really wanted to kiss Ushijima since before he’d even walked into the restroom. “Fine” Oikawa said, trying to sound like he was _letting_ Ushijima do it with his due permission. “But only because I forgot to text you back, no other reason”

Ushijima laughed lightly and walked closer. “Sure, let’s go with that”

And then, Oikawa felt Ushijima’s lips on his.

It started soft and unhurried but then, Ushijima suddenly dived deeper, exploring the wet cave of Oikawa’s mouth with his tongue running wild against Oikawa’s. Oikawa slid his hand under Ushijima’s jersey and felt his rock hard abs against his soft fingers.

Why the fuck did they have to be in a restroom of all places? Because now, Oikawa didn’t want to just kiss. He wanted everything else with it.

He felt his bulge growing again and Ushijima felt it against his thighs.

He pulled away suddenly and Oikawa tried to figure out why he had stopped but then Ushijima’s eyes travelled south towards Oikawa’s crotch and he pursed his lips, stopping himself from smiling again.

Oikawa’s eyes followed him in horror and he sunk his head in Ushijima’s chest in embarrassment. “Shit” Oikawa said.

“Oikawa…” Ushijima said but Oikawa cut him short.

“Shut up” he said.

Ushijima plastered his palm to his mouth, so as to not laugh but Oikawa was blushing and adorable and embarrassed by the hard on he was displaying after kissing Ushijima for less than a minute and how could Ushijima not just devour him like this?

He opened his mouth to say something but Oikawa stapled his lips together with his fingers.

“Not a word, Ushijima” Oikawa threatened. “You say one word and I will kill you”

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and it startled Oikawa completely.

Ushijima knew it was time to leave.

“You stay here” he said. “I’ll leave first and you can come out in five minutes”

“No” Oikawa said, desperate to leave. “I’ll go first”

Ushijima looked down and Oikawa gritted his teeth. He had a very visible boner.

“Not. One. Word” Oikawa repeated.

Ushijima nodded, fighting to keep the smile away. So instead, he left a peck on Oikawa’s lips and walked out of the booth which Oikawa locked immediately.

His back found the wall for support and his hand rested on top of his chest which was beating at an impossible rate now.

Ushijima opened the main door to the restroom and someone asked him why it was locked.

“Sorry, I forgot this wasn’t my private washroom” Ushijima said and that was that. Only Ushijima could say something like that and walk away without raising any questions.

Oikawa still couldn’t believe they hadn’t been caught yet.

As his heart calmed down and his boner went to its normal state, Oikawa knew that if they wanted to continue doing this, they needed to set some very specific rules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YASS NEW CHAPTER!!!!  
> Thank you again @Choccyghost for the proofread! <3
> 
> And thank you all for the wait. I'll see you again in two-three days!


	11. Revenge and stuff

Something was odd and Oikawa was sure of it. After he had returned to the court from the restroom, Oikawa had done everything he could to avoid Ushijima and it was easy because Ushijima was avoiding him too. The practice had consumed all of Oikawa’s thoughts so he didn’t have time to replay whatever had happened in the restroom.

But now Oikawa was back at his hotel room and he couldn’t help but recall the events in the most vivid details possible.

Ushijima had behaved differently than he usually did.

Oikawa knew Ushijima was overpowering when it came to volleyball and his games, but he had never been like that _off_ _courts_. Something was up and Oikawa didn’t know what.

Everything Ushijima had said, didn’t make sense to him. Oikawa had known Ushijima for many years now and he wasn’t the reckless type who’d suddenly plan an impromptu meeting in a place accessible to everyone so easily and he most definitely wasn’t the type who said things like ‘ _You were staring at me. I thought I’d give you a better look_ ’.

It was hard to admit for him, but Oikawa liked the usual Ushijima who was blunt and goofy and said whatever came to his mind. The Ushijima who didn’t hide innuendos behind his words and the Ushijima who was more mature than Oikawa was.

This act, in the afternoon, was almost like Ushijima was someone else.

And Oikawa didn’t like that one bit.

“What took you so long?” Miya asked as he saw Ushijima approach their table during dinner.

“I was taking a shower” Ushijima said.

“What else were you doing in the shower?” Miya teased.

“Why?” Ushijima asked. “Do you want to join?”

Miya choked on the water he was drinking when he heard that and all eyes turned towards Ushijima. But before anyone could say anything, Bokuto rushed towards the spiker and pulled him away from everyone else.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

Ushijima raised an eyebrow. “Exactly what you told me to say”

Bokuto hit his face with his hand. “That was only for Oikawa, not anyone else”

“Oh” Ushijima said, suddenly realizing what Bokuto meant. It had been almost a month since Bokuto knew about whatever was going on between Ushijima and Oikawa. A day after he’d sent Oikawa the photo, Ushijima was sulking in the changing room, staring obsessively at his phone when Bokuto sneaked a peep. Ushijima tried to deny everything but he was told that he couldn’t lie to save his own life so it was better to fess up.

And since that happened, Bokuto would, every now and then, give Ushijima advice on ‘how to get laid’.

“So, did it work?” Bokuto asked when Ushijima was done with his stupid realization.

“No. Oikawa got mad that I asked him to meet in the restroom”

Bokuto nodded. “I figured it won’t work”

Ushijima looked at him in anger. “Then why did you tell me to act like a fuckboy and say things like ‘ _You were staring at me. I thought I’d give you a better look’_?”

Bokuto smirked. “Consider it as a social experiment, okay?”

Ushijima gave up. “I am not listening to you ever again. I’d rather Oikawa not talk to me at all than hate me”

The dinner went on as normal and everyone seemed to have forgotten about what Ushijima had said. Everyone except Miya who kept staring at Ushijima every now and then, curious about why Ushijima had suddenly behaved that way.

Feeling Miya’s eyes on him more frequently than he’d like, Ushijima finished his food as quickly as he could and decided to go to his room.

Just before Ushijima was about to go to sleep, his phone buzzed.

It was a message from Oikawa.

‘ **_How far is your hotel from my hotel?_ **’

Ushijima smiled. **_’30 minutes if I walk_ **’ he sent back.

Oikawa- ‘ **_Take a cab then. And disguise yourself. Don’t look suspicious while you’re here_ **.’

Ushijima jumped out of his bed and grabbed whatever he could that would help him be unrecognizable before heading out to Oikawa’s hotel.

Fifteen minutes later, Ushijima was knocking on Oikawa’s door.

Oikawa opened the door. “What the fuck took you so lo…” he said but stopped when he saw Ushijima. Yanking him by his arm, Oikawa pulled Ushijima inside the room and quickly shut the door behind.

“What the fuck are you wearing?”

Ushijima glanced at his attire casually. He had changed into gym shorts and a white t-shirt before leaving because he never wore shorts outside practice or the game so he was sure no one would recognize him. To add to his disguise, he’d also put on a cap which he _never_ did.

“You asked me to disguise myself”

Oikawa wanted to cry. “Who the fuck wears sunglasses at night?” he asked and walked closer to Ushijima. “If were covert operatives, you’d get us killed immediately”

He wanted to yell some sense into Ushijima but Oikawa’s body found itself inching closer to him instead. He took Ushijima’s cap and sunglasses off before throwing them on the bed. And before Ushijima could answer back, the setter reached out and kissed the spiker on his lips.

Ushijima held Oikawa by his waist and pulled him closer until their bodies were stacked against each other, rubbing softly.

“You called me here at midnight to make out?” Ushijima asked when he stopped in between to catch his breath.

Oikawa pulled back. “Right, sorry, no.” he said. He had actually called Ushijima to talk but it was impossible for him to not kiss the tall spiker when he was being this adorable.

“I actually wanted to talk to you” Oikawa said.

“Can we talk after we’re done making out?”

Oikawa supposed they could do that. So he nodded and Ushijima smiled, moving forward and taking Oikawa’s mouth in his. Kissing sloppily and hurriedly, Oikawa moved back until his leg found the edge of the bed.

He sat down and Ushijima leaned in, pressing Oikawa against the mattress as his body pushed down against the setter’s.

Mounting Oikawa, Ushijima broke from the kiss and sat up straight. “It’s hot in here”

Oikawa raised an eyebrow at him. “The aircon’s at its lowest temperature”

Ushijima winked. “It’s still hot” he said and in the very next moment, proceeded to take his t-shirt off.

For a second, Oikawa got lost in the maze of Ushijima’s abs but he collected himself almost immediately when he recalled the wink.

“Okay” Oikawa said, propping himself up on his elbows. “What is up with you all of a sudden?”

“What do you mean?”

“The winking, the ‘it’s hot’ comment and then taking your shirt off, asking me to meet you at the restroom and then that sleazy statement you said about me staring at you so you wanted to give me a better look? What is up with all this? What is happening?"

Ushijima rubbed his hand on his forehead. He didn’t know he’d be caught so soon. But more than that, how did Oikawa even figure out the change in his behavior so suddenly?

He was right though, even the ‘It’s hot’ and taking his t-shirt off part was Bokuto’s idea which he had mentioned in his ‘Tips to make makeout steamier’ classes. Ushijima didn’t even know why he was still following his advice.

“Come to think of it…” Oikawa said, “the closest you’ve been to being you today is where you walked around at night wearing those sunglasses. So, spill.”

Ushijima sighed and dismounted Oikawa before sitting on the bed, next to him.

“I’m not…” he began, trying to find the right words. “I’m not good at all this.”

Oikawa propped himself up and sat next to Ushijima. “By this you mean… us?”

Ushijima shrugged. “It’s not just that. I don’t have much dating experience and you do. I know the kind of guys you like and I am not like those. You like those bad boy types who live dangerously and I am the exact opposite. I know I am too blunt sometimes and I can’t hold conversations to save my own life. So when you didn’t text me back, I thought you weren’t interested because I might be… boring”

Oikawa tried to say something but he wasn’t sure what. He had no idea Ushijima would be so bothered because of a missed text. But then, Oikawa would have probably thought the same if his texts were ignored.

What Oikawa absolutely failed to understand was why Ushijima believed he was boring, like at all. Yes, he talked less compared to other people Oikawa had dated but conversations with Ushijima were always raw and real and there was nothing hidden behind his words that would launch Oikawa into over-thinking mode.

“So when Bokuto found out, he offered to help me change a little”

 _This oblivious fool._ Ushijima’s original personality was exactly why Oikawa liked him. Maybe he should’ve let Ushijima know that for once?

“Wait…” Oikawa yelled instead, “Bokuto knows?”

Ushijima turned to face Oikawa. “Don’t panic.” he said taking Oikawa’s hand in his and rubbing his thumbs gently on them, “He found out the day after I sent you that text but he promised it’ll never get out”

Oikawa would have panicked but Ushijima’s thumbs drawing circles on the back of his palms were quite soothing actually. “Are you absolutely sure?”

Ushijima nodded. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Oh, right” Oikawa said, withdrawing his hands from Ushijima. “So… umm” he began, suddenly failing to recognize words and forming them into a sentence. “Umm so you see…” he scratched his head. “This is about…”

Oikawa looked at Ushijima, hoping he’d help him out but all Ushijima did was stare at him blankly. Oikawa sighed. Of all the people Oikawa could have liked, he chose the stupidest one.

He tried once more. “So you know how we… made out in the restroom and it was risky?”

“Yes” Ushijima said, straightening his back. “And I am sorry. I should have never done that. I swear I will kill Bokuto one day”

“Yeah, okay, kill him when you want but as I was saying, the _restroom_ was a dangerous place, right?”

“Absolutely. I am so sorry”

“Um hm, fine, but do you get what I am saying?” Oikawa said, thinking he’d given enough hints for Ushijima to understand. “We need to be more careful, don’t you think?”

Ushijima nodded. “I swear it won’t happen again”

Fucking hell, how was Ushijima still not getting it?

Oikawa tried once more. “Considering what we were doing, don’t you think a different place would have suited better?”

Ushijima’s eyes widened and Oikawa finally breathed out. He’d figured it out. Oikawa won’t have to go through the embarrassment of saying it out loud now.

“How did I not think of that?” Ushijima said. “The restroom is dirty and unhygienic. I am so sorry, Oikawa”

“Oh my god Ushijima I’m saying the restroom was risky so we should fuck in the hotel room instead”

Ushijima backed away a little. “What?”

“What?” Oikawa asked back. He didn’t believe what he’d just said.

“What did you just say?”

Well, the cat was already out of the bag. There was no point going back now.

Oikawa steadied himself. “I said we should fu… have sex in the hotel room instead”

Ushijima stared at Oikawa with his mouth open for a few seconds and when he didn’t respond, Oikawa began thinking he’d made a mistake.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to” Oikawa said, suddenly unsure of his own place inside his own room. Maybe Ushijima was right, it really was hot because Oikawa was sweating profusely. This was why he was hoping Ushijima would have caught on the hints and proposed the plan himself. Because now Oikawa had said it first and he had exposed his desires to Ushijima and was now beginning to question everything.

“Are you kidding me?” Ushijima asked, standing up. “Why will I not want to? I’ve been wanting to fuck you since high school”

_Oh, thank god!_

Oikawa suddenly let out a grin and Ushijima realized what he had said.

“Wait… no. Not wanting to fuck you. I’ve been wanting to fuck _with_ you since High School. Revenge and stuff, you know?”

Oikawa laughed. “Sure, revenge and stuff”

“It’s true, stop laughing”

“Come here” Oikawa said instead, pulling Ushijima by his hand until he was on top, body resting lightly over Oikawa.

He wrapped his hands around Ushijima’s shoulders and brought their lips together.

They stayed like that, kissing each other for a few minutes before Ushijima broke the kiss. “So, can I take my revenge today?”

Oikawa laughed against Ushijima’s neck. “Not a chance. We need to establish some rules” he said.

Ushijima fell to his side. “Okay, first rule, you will always reply to my texts”

Oikawa rolled over to look at Ushijima and smiled. “Cute, but no. First rule, no texting unless it’s about meeting up at a hotel. Second rule, no sex until after both our final matches. Third rule, you leave immediately after sex, no staying over and final rule, this never gets out”

Ushijima was a little surprised. He had thought things between Oikawa and him were improving but what Oikawa had proposed was nothing like what Ushijima had in mind. He thought they’d at least talk when away but Oikawa didn’t want to text at all. So he guessed he was right, he really wasn’t the type of guy Oikawa usually liked. But why did it hurt Ushijima more than it should have?

Oikawa saw it on his face immediately. “Ushijima, what’s wrong?”

“Hmm?” Ushijima asked, trying to hide the fact that he was bothered, but it was impossible. He didn’t know how to lie. Even then, he tried. “Nothing”

But Oikawa wasn’t convinced. “Tell me what’s wrong”

Ushijima sat back up. “I just… I didn’t know there would be so many rules” he finally said. “I don’t understand this… this need to have sex and then ignore each other for the rest of the time. Maybe I am old-school but I can’t have a no-strings-attached kind of arrangement.”

Oikawa closed his eyes and shook his head. “That’s it?” he asked.

When Ushijima didn’t respond, Oikawa let his hand flat out, palms open. “Unlock your phone and give it to me”

Ushijima didn’t ask why. He did as was asked and Oikawa spent a few seconds on Ushijima’s phone. Once he was done, he handed it back and Ushijima saw that a new app was open on his phone.

“What’s this?” he asked.

Oikawa smiled. “I made us secret Instagram accounts where we could talk without anyone else finding out”

Ushijima stared at him and then the screen for a few seconds. Oikawa really had thought it through? So this wasn’t just sex and ditch? Ushijima didn’t even know what to say anymore.

“So, everything’s settled now?” Oikawa asked and Ushijima nodded enthusiastically.

Oikawa laughed again. “You’re _that_ happy?”

Ushijima stared at the screen of his phone. “No one’s ever made me a secret account before”

Oikawa blinked. Did he do something more romantic than he had intended to?

 _Fuck_!

He opened his mouth to refute but Ushijima spoke first. Well, yelled more like. “Did you really name my account ‘stalkerboi11’?”

Oikawa gave out a loud laugh. “Funny, isn’t it?”

Ushijima didn’t answer. “What’s your username?” he asked instead.

“Look at it yourself”

And when Ushijima did, his face lit up with the biggest smile ever.

Oikawa’s username was ‘stalkingthestalker’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I didn't even realise it's been almost 15 days since the last update. 
> 
> Soooooo you know when you start a fic with zero goals and direction, hoping you'd develop it as it goes and then you hit a block that's so bad you question your entire existence? Yep, that!
> 
> All I can do is hope that I update this more regularly. *fingers crossed*
> 
> Also, I hope this chapter (and the fluff in it) was worth the wait. Please don't kill me if it wasn't. :(

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on twitter here [Toorutoshi](https://twitter.com/toorutoshi)


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